Sharing our Traveler's Diarya

Friday, May 20

The Manila airport was, per usual, terrible. There was about a thousand checkpoints and an over abundance of security checks where the metal detectors didn’t appear to be on and the staff were looking at their phones instead of the X-ray screen. What annoys me most about security checkpoints in Manila (including to get into the mall) is the mandatory separation of men and women, as if to protect the women from short, convenient lines where only half the population carries a purse.

The funniest inconvenience was deciding to sit next to our gate for the 2.5 hour wait before take off. We went downstairs to a separate room and had to get our boarding passes checked and scribbled on. To leave this room (which was necessary to get food, water, and use the bathroom) you had to leave your boarding pass with the staff at the gate room (why? Don’t ask). This made for an interesting interaction at the NEXT security check point (needed to get to the food area) because you didn’t have a boarding pass at all. But the staff would shrug and waive you by, completely nullifying the whole security process.

In the Singapore airport we experienced one of the biggest culture shocks of our lives. It was a reverse culture shock. When we got off the plane we found the airport to be clean and quiet. Our assigned gate for our next flight was literally the gate next to the one we had used to get off the last plane. It was such a smooth international transfer that I didn’t believe it. I looked for the catch, where we would need to sign in again or something but it really was that straight forward.

We found some surprisingly good chicken rice bowls while we waited to board. At boarding time the staff announced that families with children could board. No one stirred. Then they said rows 1, 2, 12, and 13 could board. They asked everyone else to remain seated. At ANY other airport this would be the cue for EVERYONE to immediately stand up and shove toward the gate. Instead, in the Singapore airport, everyone remained seated and quiet (except for me, edging toward the gate ready to board first). I honestly thought I’d lost my hearing. It was silent as we waited for them to call the next boarding group.

We landed in Perth at about 945pm and had the smoothest entry process of my life. Transferring in the US from Sint Maarten to Colombia had required more time and effort. A machine scanned our boarding pass and a very nice lady took our customs card, and then we were officially in Australia. There was even a bin of free COVID tests at the door!

After getting an Uber with the smallest, most ancient driver in the world, we arrived to Martin’s house at about 10:30pm. Martin is Karen’s cousin from her mother’s side and although she hadn’t seen him in over 10 years he kindly offered for all three of us to stay at his house, rent free, for the week.

All the stores were closed so we showed up to Martin’s hungry, tired, and nothing in the way of a host gift. But he had prepared for us. He had several 6-packs of chilled IPAs in the fridge and he had cheese and crackers out on the table. We all stayed up late, talking and catching up. As we ate a cracker, Martin would spread cheese on another and put it out, to create an endless buffet for us.

Saturday, May 21

After our day of travel and late night we needed a good sleep in. As we all started to wake up we realized the weather forecast was predicted to be beautiful and sunny all day on Saturday and turn to cold, rain, wind, and thunderstorms starting Sunday and getting very bad on Monday. So our plan of taking a ferry to Rottnest island to see the Quokkas needed to happen ASAP if it was going to happen at all.

Miraculously, we hustled and got ourselves to the ferry dock with 7 minutes to buy the ticket and board. Unfortunately, they had available tickets for the noon ferry out to the island but they had no more availability for ferry tickets to bring us back to the mainland. So we could get out there, but then we’d be stranded. So we decided to stay on the mainland and enjoy the neighborhood of Fremantle.

A short walk from the ferry offices we found a brewery (Gage Road) that was in a historic wharf shed and had a huge outdoor seating area. We decided to try out the beer, soak up some sun, and catch up with Karen. The beer was pretty good and the sunshine with a cool breeze was even better. This is where we noticed that every place in Australia offers free sunscreen – just bottles hanging out- more common than hand sanitizer! How cool! Also no one was wearing masks anywhere, which made us uncomfortable after so many months of wearing them (and wearing them even outside in Manila).

We experienced a bit of a sticker shock as all of a sudden we were buying restaurant food in the first world again. Everything was very expensive. The Australian dollar is worth about .7 US dollars which made everything seem even more expensive than it really was, once converted. Even then, two beers at this brewery cost 25 AUS, or $17.75 US (nearly $9 each!!)

Then we walked over to the Roundhouse. This twelve sided building was once used as a jail for residents. Immediately we were overwhelmed with the number of signs that were written in clear, accurate English. We couldn’t even read the signs though, because a tour guide (Karen) came up and started telling us all about the place. She was so nice and had such a cute accent but she did go on and on and we started to wonder if we were being detained and her lectures were our secret punishment.

As we looked into the waters of the Roundhouse well a boy came over and interrupted Tour Guide Karen to ask her whether prisoners tried to escape through the well. She looked confused and said “no, they didn’t” while Irish Friend Karen whispered “I had the same question…” The boy seemed satisfied with the answer and ran off as quickly as he came. Flustered, Tour Guide Karen turned back to us and said “We’ll that’s alright then” and she kept talking about the well. Her accent and phrasing was so cute and such a change from the broken English tours we’ve had for the last four months that we were enthralled.

Finally Tour Guide Karen released us and we meandered over to a ring a big bell. Tour Guide John came over to tell us about the bell (a curfew bell) and then show us the stocks. He also told us a lot about himself- including that he swims in the ocean everyday and has family in the Pacific Northwest. Again, Carl and I were happy listening to him because it was fun to hear English in such a cute accent (and he was an adorable old man) but Irish Friend Karen was obviously over it, so we thanked him and moved on.

Next we walked a little inland to the Fremantle Market. The market is a big indoor marketplace with loads of different types of stalls selling things like food, coffees, flowers, jewelry, t-shirts, toys, etc. We couldn’t resist getting a few bites to eat. Carl and I split some Kimbap (Korean sushi) and a huge, fresh donut. Karen got an egg sandwich that looked and smelled like the best thing ever.

We walked back to the waterfront to another brewery which Martin had recommended called Little Creatures brewery. It was huge. We found a spot outside in the sunshine near an adorable pug, who apparently is a local and frequent customer. The brewery offered free bikes for hire but as we contemplated this plan we realized it was already nearly 5pm and the sun would set at 5:30.

Instead we took some pictures of the beautiful sunset before we walked south along a path that skirted a wetland, toward South Fremantle. We met up with Martin and some of his friends at The South Beach Hotel. We learned that there are MANY restaurant/bars in Perth that used to be hotels and still call themselves ‘something hotel’ even though they are no longer hotels, but restaurants.

We got some beers and a kangaroo brisket sandwich which, regrettably, tasted great. We talked with Martin and his friends, Joe and Ben, until we were near the last people in the place.

At one point, whilst waiting in line for the bathroom, I got a notification on my phone about the results of the Australia election. Before we arrived we knew this election would happen while we were visiting, but we had forgotten about it. As I read the results that the Labor party won after nearly a decade of the conservation coalition being in power I looked around the bar. Not a soul was talking about the election. The TVs were filled with rugby matches (and something called Footy). When I got back to the table I asked if anyone knew or cared about the election results. The one Perthian shrugged.

Carl and I were shocked. If this was the US, people would be glued to the TV, booing or cheering. If it was the Philippines, there’d be riots either way. The Irish thought it was hilarious that Carl and I were the only ones aware of the election results and that we were shocked that no one else cared. We conceded that Americans are more passionate about politics but that life must be pretty good for Australians and Irish if they cared so little about who was in charge of their country.

Finally we got an Uber home and watched the Irish show, Father Ted, before going to sleep.

Sunday, May 22

Martin had the day off so he offered to drive us in his car out to “the bush”. First he drove us out to the Mundaring Dam. The place has an interesting history. The engineer envisioned and designed the dam system to convey fresh, potable water from Perth to the very inland, gold mining region of Kalgoolrie. It took a few days longer than planned for the water to get pumped all the way to Kalgoolrie and the engineer killed himself – thinking his master plan had totally failed- only to have the water successfully reach Kalgoolrie two days later.

Then we drove into the bush. Martin is big into dirt bikes (motorbikes not bicycles) and off-roading in his big wheeled truck, so he knew just the spot to take us to. He took a turn to drive just under a power line and we found that we were in for a wild ride.

We bounded along an unpacked dirt road – laughing at first as we were tossed about and then nervous laughing as we drove over huge boulders and questioning whether we’d make it out of there alive. We drove up a steep hill, under the power lines, past other big wheeled trucks.

At one point we seemed to be a little stuck. Martin got out and demonstrated that only three wheels were still touching the ground by waiving his foot under the back left wheel (under where I was sitting). He chuckled, got back in the car, backed up a bit and tried it again. As we were jostled about, we enjoyed the red dirt and tall eucalyptus of the wild bush around us.

A couple hail mary’s later we were out of the worst of it and Martin pulled onto a smoother dirt road (i.e., a normal road in Australia). We got out at one point to walk around a bit and then Martin said he wanted to take us to a nearby pub for food and beers.

As we drove toward it, we passed through a national park entrance and I was surprised the pub was located inside the park. Martin explained that the pub’s lease was expiring soon and the park plans to demolish the pub and put in campsites. Because of this imminent closure, the place was very busy. We pulled into a parking lot full of cars. As we got out of the car I heard Carl and Karen say, “OMG!” There, at the entrance as if to welcome us and hand us menus, was a kangaroo. Then we noticed that on the side of the restaurant was a whole mob of Roos.

All the kangaroos were facing the same direction, crouching, and staying still. It was sprinkling lightly and they looked as if they were trying to pretend that it wasn’t. They all looked a little annoyed, but made no moves to seek shelter.

We went inside and decided just to get beers because of the long wait time for food. As we stood and sipped a massive Kangaroo came into the patio area. One of the staff made an announcement that the older male Kangaroo was a little blind so any kids wanting to pet him should approach from the front and pet him lightly. We then watched as tons of kids – many of them shorter than the kangaroo – went up to pet them as their parents sat by sipping their beers and eating fries (chips).

We began wondering out loud why parents would let their kids so close to wild animals when two more kangaroos appeared inside the patio area. Then a green parrot joined them and they all ate out of a dog food bowl on the ground as if they were just somebody’s dogs at a brewery. Karen and I edged close enough to pet one and it felt like a wet sweatshirt. It was pretty cool to hang out with this pack of exotic animals as we sipped beers in the rain.

Our next stop Martin took us to get some food. He drove us to another restaurant ‘hotel’, a historic building that is now a pub. Carl and I split a brisket sandwich and it was soo good. We also had some nice beers.

Satisfied physically and emotionally, we assumed the day tour was over. But Martin surprised us with one more stop. He drove us to Kings Park, a huge, manicured parkway that sits above the city and overlooks Perth and it’s waterways. We walked along the trails and admired the native plants including a huge old Giant Boab tree that had been transplanted over 3,200 km from a place up the coast that was uprooting trees for mining.

We admired the colors of the sky above the city as the sun set behind us. Then we drove along the coast, back to Martin’s house. We watched some TV for a bit until we were hungry again. We decided to pick up some Turkish food from the nearby takeaway place. It happened to be next to a bar so we stopped in for one more pint.

Karen ordered an Apple Splash apple juice and she confused the bartender who asked, “is that just like normal apple juice?” and then handed her the teeny tiny box of juice as if it was her treat after nap time at the kindergarten. We finished our drinks (Karen faster than the rest of us, the lush), picked up the kebabs, and drove home to watch more Father Ted before going to sleep.

Monday, May 23

The weather forecast predicted 100% chance of rain and thunderstorms from about 10am to 4pm. We’d been monitoring the weather forecasts for the last few days and found them to be pretty accurate so we conceded to have a rainy day inside.

We caught up on some travel tasks like blog writing and trip planning. Around 3pm it seemed like there would be a break in the weather so we used that time to run to the nearby grocery store. We got groceries to restock Martin’s gracious supplies and picked up some ingredients for dinner. Walking back to the house we tempted fate and tried to make it, pausing under big trees whenever the rain picked up.

That night we made spaghetti, garlic bread, and ceasar salad. It was nice being able to cook for ourselves for once and we enjoyed the rest of staying in all day.

Tuesday, May 24

Even though it was more expensive than we had hoped, we decided to rent a car to have for a day in Perth and to take us down to Margaret River for a few days. We picked up the car at about noon and drove up to the Caversham Wildlife Park.

We got there at about 1:30pm and were immediately enthralled with all the weird animals. We spotted some Kookaburras and they even gave us a little laugh as we approached. We saw tons of beautiful birds including parrots, parakeets, owls, hawks, etc. Then we walked by the Cossaway enclosure. Cossaways are like ostrich but with a big hard crown on their heads. It was very social and came right up to the fence, looking at us. It was like looking into the eyes of a dinosaur and freaked me out.

We headed over to the Wombat exhibit and on the way saw flying foxes, a python, an adorable possum, a blue tongued lizard and a bobtailed lizard, and more beautiful birds. The staff person held the wombat on her lap with its belly up and it looked like it was totally asleep. She let us pet its bristly little knees as it chopped its teeth in its sleep. It was cute but I was jealous we didn’t get to hold it.

Next we went over to the Kangaroo feeding. On the way we saw penguins, a black swan, some pretty ducks, and some sort of huge pelican. The kangaroo area is a large open area in the middle of the park. Visitors can fill their pockets with kangaroo food pellets from a bin near the front and then roam around feeding Roos for as long as they please.

We first came upon a wallaby and as it burrowed its face in my palm to get some pellets I could feel it’s soft little furry chin. I reached up and pet his back leg area, which wasn’t quite as soft, but he didn’t seem to mind me petting as long as I kept the pellets flowing. Next I fed some kangaroos and found their coats to be luxuriously soft. Like those thick decorative blankets they sell at target.

Most of the kangaroos were sleeping when we came in but a couple sensed it was snack time and came over for some nibbles. We spotted a few joeys in pouches too!

Next it was koala photo time. They put a small koala named junior on a pedestal with some eucalyptus snack and let people come up and pet his hind legs and take photos. He was cute, but I wish I could’ve held him too.

The park was closing early because of COVID but we were able to see the dingos and some hilarious parrots just before we left. We heard the parrots say “hello?!” in an Australian accent and we couldn’t stop laughing about it.

Driving back to the house, we took advantage of having a car to stop by the grocery again to pick up ingredients to make pizza for dinner. We had some issues figuring out how to work Martin’s oven- some pizzas were nearly burned on the top but raw underneath- but eventually we figured it out. We watched a movie and went to sleep early, prepping for our road trip the next day.

Wednesday, May 18

Every travel blog recommends spending as little time in Manila as possible. But, given the atrocity that is the Manila airport, we wanted to give as long of a layover as we could before heading to Australia. So we decided to spend two nights and one day, to leave ample time and also maybe experience a little more Filipino culture before we leave.

We got a taxi to our hotel which took forever because of traffic but the driver had impecable English and was so nice. He recommended places to eat and what to order, which greatly influenced the next 24 hours of our lives.

We decided to stay at the Sheraton Manila Bay after having to cancel Red Planet Manila Bay because the hotel was only being used for quarantine. The Sheraton is actually part of Marriott and we were able to use points to pay for the whole stay. Perhaps because of the circumstances (being in the Philippines for three weeks and on a remote island for three days) the Sheraton was the nicest hotel of my life. They upgraded us to an executive suite and when we entered the room we found a hand written welcome note and some apples and dried mangoes.

The shower was incredibly strong (maybe even too strong??) and hot. The bed was so comfortable and the pillows were absolutely perfect. The window shades opened by pressing a button and there was even a phone next to the toilet. Utter luxury.

We rested a bit before heading out to dinner. On our way to dinner we walked by a little street stall where an old man was selling Balut, hard-boiled, partially fertilized eggs, a local delicacy. Our taxi driver had told us to try one, so we did. The taste was like hard boiled egg and chicken. The texture…I’ll spare the details in case any reader is squeamish. The egg cost 20 pesos (40 cents) but the man was so nice and helpful, instructing us how to eat it and laughing along with us, so Carl gave him an extra 20 peso tip.

Then we walked to the restaurant The Aristocrats, the original site of a popular local chain, which the taxi drive had also recommended. The driver recommended Kare-Kare, a peanut based broth with knuckle, tripe and other leftover parts. This dish was weird, and not our favorite. We also got barbecued chicken, which the restaurant is known for, and this was very very good. It was served with garlic rice and a peanut-y bbq sauce.

Stuffed, we walked back to our hotel, cranked the AC, climbed into the big, white, fluffy bed, watched the end of the movie Lady Bird on tv, and fell asleep instantly.

Thursday, May 19

We started the day with French press coffee in our room (Sheraton!) before heading to Robinson’s mall to find breakfast. We found a bakery place that served all kinds of weird Asian pastries (our favorite). We got the spicy chicken floss (a bun with dried chicken shreds plastered on top via mayo), a ‘tuna’ sandwich which ended up being ham, egg, and cheese (and delicious), and a chocolate cream cheese muffin that tasted like it was filled with dark chocolate cheesecake filling (in other words, my favorite thing).

We walked to Intramuros, the old, Spanish style walled city. I don’t think many tourists actually walk to Intramuros and there were about a thousand persistent trike drivers trying to get us to go on a tour with them. It was really annoying, but we pushed on and walked through, surprised how short the walk was despite the trike drivers insisting we couldn’t possibly go on foot.

We checked out the oldest church, San Augustine, then walked straight into the middle of the walled city to the second oldest church, The Minor Basilica. We considered the cool interiors and extra large fans to be a holy blessing and we stood for long periods of time, in appreciation.

Next we walked to the end of the town (not very far at all) to the Fort Santiago. This fort has a history as interesting as the Philippines itself as it was used by every conquering and colonizing presence. It was old and pretty, and nice to walk around in. Most shocking was the dungeon area where American troops had found hundreds of bodies after the Japanese occupation.

We could sense a storm a brewin’ so we started walking back. We passed by a cafe that had IPAs and vegetarian Sisig that we couldn’t resist. Of course, as soon as we were done eating and decided to leave, it immediately started pouring. We were able to flag down a trike and went back to the mall.

I needed to try the Filipino desert, Halo- Halo. We used the fancy, interactive mall directory to locate a few places that sold it. We decided to go to another Filipino chain, Inasal, to get it. Inasal is known for their barbecue chicken so Carl also had to sample that. We sat in the middle of the busy restaurant- Carl eating chicken and me eating a bowl full of ice, candied jellies, beans, and condensed milk, and we reflected on our wonderful time in the Philippines.

Later for dinner we went back to the mall (and could’ve eaten there for another week without getting bored) and went to a place called Manan that seemed like it had escaped from Brooklyn and brought hipster-ism to the Philippines. We couldn’t decide what to order so we got small plates of Sisig, Crispy Pata (fried pork knuckle), and (can’t remember the name) a vinegar soup with braised beef. We also got two shakes: Ube and Mango-Pomelo.

The shakes were meals in themselves but sooo good. The Sisig wasn’t chewy enough for our taste (is there even real pork snout in it if you don’t feel the texture of cartilage?) but still really good.

A series of miracles happened then where we found nail polish remover for me (mine had evaporated, couldn’t find replacement anywhere, and my cheap Cambodian pedicure was atrocious) and a hat for Carl (he had lost his…again).

Just before the mall closed we found the hat kiosk on the fourth floor. There were some plain hats that the lady said were only 100 pesos ($2). We were happy enough with this, but then she said she could embroider the hat with Carl’s name, for free. He didn’t want his name so he tried to think of something else to write, not wanting to bypass this opportunity for a custom made hat. He landed on ‘Sisig’ which made the lady laugh and then she embroidered it using her sewing machine, without any kind of stencil. We were so impressed! I told Carl it was lucky he lost his other two hats so we could experience this magical moment. Also if he lost his Sisig hat, we’d be obligated to return to Manila and get another.

Friday, May 13

The ferry from El Nido to Coron only runs three days per week. We didn’t know that when we planned our Philippines itinerary but by chance we got lucky and happened to plan our travel day the same day as the Friday ferry. The ferry was supposed to leave at noon and take about four hours. It ended up not leaving until after 1pm and we didn’t arrive to Coron until nearly 7pm.

On the ferry I listened to nearly my entire audio book (Down Under by Bill Bryson) and almost died of hunger toward the end but was saved by a choco pie that Carl had been carrying around for me since Cambodia.

Upon arrival we easily got a trike up to our hotel, Pirates Dive Resort. The staff welcomed us in and showed us to a hut without ever asking who we were. I asked them whether they wanted to check our IDs or anything and at first they looked at me confused and then with suspicion, as if we weren’t the right people and were calling out our own scam. A few minutes later, Paul, the owner, came down and greeted us. We talked with him for a long time about diving in the area, impacts of the typhoon, and where to eat.

We decided just to eat at the hotel restaurant (Pirates Tavern) and were pleasantly surprised. We got Bicol Express, a coconut milk stewed pork dish, and a nicely spiced adobo. As we ate we noticed another couple that we’d seen on the ferry. They were Peter, from Scotland, and Pipa, from Belgium. We talked with them for a while, sharing travel stories and future itineraries.

Saturday, May 14

Paul recommended diving in Barracuda Lake, a skeleton wreck dive, and a reef dive. Our guide (I can’t remember his name!) met us in the restaurant and drove us down to the pier in his tricycle. We boarded the boat and discovered we were the only two passengers. Also aboard were Ben, the captain, and Mark, the chef.

We set out to Barracuda Lake which is just on the other side of Coron Bay. Our boat parked with others in a boat parking lot and we swam over to a pier where we then had to walk over the hill on a wooden staircase. There were already other snorkel tours there so we had to politely push past them in our scuba gear as we climbed up and over, on crooked, rickety wooden ladder steps.

We got into the lake and descended pretty quickly (Filipino style diving). The top part of the lake is cool freshwater. About 10 meters down we encountered the thermal spring which gushed hot water at us. We didn’t wear wetsuits for this reason. It seemed as we dove deeper the water was getting hotter and hotter and I thought we were going to boil alive. I can’t imagine how the first people to dive here thought it was a good idea to keep swimming down.

However, at about 14 meters it got cooler again and we entered the salt water portion at the bottom of the lake. We descended deeper but then reached a point where the water was so murky and dark, we didn’t risk going further. I held onto Carl’s arm, afraid I’d get separated, as we skimmed the surface of this murky pool.

We ascended a bit and found the turning point of salt to fresh water. Looking horizontally, you could see a blurry line where the two waters met. We played around with this false surface, going up and down, seeming to emerge from water altogether to find ourselves in cool, fresh water, then diving back down, past the line into warmer, salty water. Apparently there’s a Planet Earth episode that shows divers doing this, and we need to watch it to relive this weird moment.

At one point we swam over an area that looked like sunken hills. As if the hills had just been covered in water. We saw tree-like objects growing from rolling green mounds. It was trippy. A little later we found ourselves skirting a wall that had red slime (algae?) oozing down the sides. The color was a deep red, like fake blood in a Halloween haunted house.

Before going back up we stopped at a rocky ledge and our guide used a rock to smash up shells. Swarms of catfish came to eat the freshly released meaty bits. The catfish were babies, each smaller than my hand. As he fed them and they swam frantically around, it seemed like he was feeding a pack of stray kittens and we decided those must be the lesser known, kitten fish.

Meanwhile, Carl was playing with a shrimp that couldn’t decide if it trusted him. The shrimp would stick out his big pincher arm to examine Carl’s hand, seem to consider climbing on, and then shyly turn away.

Back on the boat, we took a short ride to the next destination, a skeleton wreck dive. We didn’t realize it, but the crew had made lunch for us while we were out diving. They fed us grilled fish, chicken adobo, sautéed veggies, and rice. It was really good and a nice surprise!

As we prepared to get in the water, our guide implied that he wasn’t excited about this dive and we soon saw why. The visibility wasn’t great and the wreck itself was really just the skeleton of a ship. There were lots of coral and fish, but not as vibrant as elsewhere we’d seen. The best part was as we rounded the outer part of the sunken ship we came upon three batfish and it was as if we had broken up an illicit meeting they were having behind the boat. They seemed to collect themselves saying ‘nothing to see here!’ and swam away.

The next spot was a coral reef. The reef was massive. We swam out and back along it which was cool because we noticed that the fish we saw tended to hang out in the same area as we circled back to see them again. Our guide flipped over a giant sea cucumber (which I thought was a pretty rude thing to do) but then we got to see it squirm and right itself, reminding us that these creatures are active animals, not just plants.

We also saw a turtle and it had a sucker fish on its back that was nearly as big as its shell. The turtle eyed us as we swam around, but didn’t seem to mind us there. We also saw lots of beautiful coral formations, and many were very colorful. My favorites were giant, rose-like florets the size of a human that seemed to cluster together like a coral rose garden. Also the spiny bushes that were a bright blue, or sometimes yellow with different colored tips. There were some rocky coral that looked like someone had dumped green, Nickelodeon slime all over them, not that they were slimy but that they were that brightly colored.

That night we attempted to find the local food market but were disappointed to discover it was still closed from COVID. So we decided to try one of the recommended restaurants for dinner. We went to Pacifico and had ceviche and a stewed pork. They were good, but it tasted like a western restaurant trying to make Filipino food and not very authentic at all.

Sunday, May 15

The main activity in Coron and El Nido is island hopping. While we were researching ferry options we discovered a company called Big Dream Boat Man that does multi-day island tours. Their tour around Coron islands happened to just fit within our schedule so we signed up. We were told we were the only two signed up and that the tour may be canceled unless more people could join. As the trip date neared, we assumed we would need to find an alternative plan. But then, a couple days before, they emailed us and said the tour was going to happen though they didn’t say whether others would be joining us.

We showed up early to the meeting spot, disappointed that the restaurant didn’t have WiFi or a fan. As we waited, sweating, looking out the window onto the pier, another couple arrived. Jaime and Águeda (like Agatha), from Spain, introduced themselves. We were so excited to have Spanish speakers so we could continue practicing our Spanish and they were eager to practice their English. Next two girls came in, Katie and Beth, sisters from Scotland. We discovered they are about a decade younger than us, which made for some fun comparison stories like ‘what was your favorite song in high school’ etc. They both were surprisingly well traveled considering their youth, and it was so interesting to hear about all the places they’ve been.

Eventually we were put into trikes and transported to the nearby pier where we boarded our boat that we’d be on for the next four days. As we set off, the crew gave us drinks and introduced themselves. Ali (Alexis) seemed to be the most in charge. Uncle Bob (or Jojo) had amazing dreds that hung down past his knees. He was the artist, and the barkeep. He kept us so well hydrated with beer, rum, and juice that we had to use the bathroom every time we jumped into the ocean. G, short for Ghinel, had hair down to his shoulders (and was working on one dred) and was a jack-of-all-trades, seeming to pop up out of nowhere to assist with anything. He was often carrying our bags when we insisted he didn’t need to.

Also aboard was Cheffy (Ramon) who made the best meals and definitely, without a doubt, the best meals we’ve ever had that were prepared on a boat. We didn’t see too much of Captain (Cordell?) but when we did peek into the captain chamber we would see him sitting on the shelf behind the steering wheel, steering the boat with one foot, and smiling. There was also Dudz, a younger guy, and Carlito, an older guy, who assisted. We counted 6 passengers and 7 crew, all on a pretty small boat for three days, and yet it always felt spacious and never crowded.

Our first stop was a freshwater lake. We noticed the lake was located just south of Baracuda Lake, where we had dove the day before. We pulled into a lagoon, around a massive rock/island, and walked off the boat into a pier. Then it was a steep hike up, over, and down the hill to the lake. We encountered some other people but when we got to the lake we were the only ones there. We snorkeled around and took lots of photos. There were some cool caves in the sides that could be accessed from underwater, and we got the first taste of our guides humor when they ushered us into a cave promising something cool, only to scare us by hiding around a corner in the dark. Then we walked back up the hill to the viewpoint over the lagoon. It was like a scene from a movie.

At the next spot we ate lunch on the boat before jumping into the water. This was our first meal with BDBM (Big Dream Boat Man) and we were so impressed. They served chicken curry, okra (they called them lady fingers), a peppered cucumber salad, and white rice (Filipino power).

We waited a few minutes before hopping in and then swam to another lagoon. In low tide we could swim under the rock, through a wide tunnel area about 3ft high above the water and 20ft wide. We swam through and noticed the day-trippers were all in kayaks. We treaded water (most had fins but Carl and I chose not to) and appreciated the natural beauty.

Then we noticed that Ali had brought a volleyball. We ended up playing a kind of ‘keep away’ game in a little circle and it was really fun. All my water polo egg-beatering skills came back to me and I dominated the silly game, embarrassed to be showing off but also enjoying swatting the ball out of the sky and growling at my newly made friends. It was the best work out I’ve had in years.

After we had a longer boat ride to Banana Island, where we stayed for the night. We dropped out bags off in our rooms, which were in a huge, cement, apartment style building. Then we went to explore and see the sunset.

We thought the cloud cover would prevent a sunset but after the sun was already down it illuminated the sky and the clouds lit up in every hue of yellow, orange, pink, and red. It was probably the best sunset we’ve seen in our whole lives. Add to this that we were on a small, remote, tropical island with only about a dozen other people.

After the sunset we showered, Filipino style, using the bucket shower in our bathroom. In the Philippines the bucket shower consists of a huge barrel of fresh water and a little bucket with a handle. You scoop out the water from the barrel with the little bucket and pour the water over yourself, trying to not douse the adjacent toilet. This barrel/bucket system is also how you flush the toilet in many places (just throw a bunch of water in afterward) and works surprisingly well if you get the flick of the wrist right.

They served us dinner on the beach, under a string of lights, as the clouds moved and -every once in a while- revealed the stars. We did a formal introduction session, introducing ourselves and explaining our hobbies and why we like to travel. It started to sprinkle so we moved everything to under a wooden porch area. After dinner we drank and told silly jokes (ask me where fish go to work). Ali showed us a couple of card tricks and I’ve never been more pleased with myself when I figured out a trick before anyone else. Carl also showed off one of his card tricks and impressed our new friends.

Finally we all went off to our rooms to go to bed and were grateful for the little bit of electricity that allowed a fan to run because the rooms were humid and sweltering. But at some point in the middle of the night, the power went out and the fan shut off, resulting in a restless night’s sleep.

Monday, May 16

Carl and I set our alarm for 7:15 but at 7:07 the staff were yelling that breakfast was ready and we needed to get a move on. They fed us a great breakfast of pancakes, corned pork hash, rice, and pineapple. I’m not sure what happened, maybe it was just being so unbelievably hot at 7:30 am, but I ended up being sick and needing to lay in the ocean for a bit before boarding the boat.

We had a short ride over to our first stop, a sand bar. We got there early so we were the only ones there and the tide was high so the little sand bar was just a tiny island connected to the bigger island by an underwater sandbar of about 5 inches deep. We took loads of pictures and then snorkeled around the area and were impressed with the amount of fish and coral we saw.

Next we went to an island for a trash pick up. I’m not sure why this island was covered in trash, but it was as if there was more trash than sand or fallen leaves, and we quickly filled two huge rice bags full of trash. The BDBM crew said they pick up trash from this island on every trip as a way to give back. It seemed to us like a Sisyphean endeavor and I simultaneously wanted to stay there for longer to make a bigger impact while also marveling that the BDBM crew still had the motivation after seeing the island again and again fill up with trash washed ashore from other islands. As we were leaving Ali skillfully climbed a coconut tree and grabbed us some treats for later.

As we boated to the next location, it started to rain. By happy coincidence the next stop was at a town on Cuillon island where we took advantage of the light rain time to look inside a famous old church. Cuillon is known as the place where lepers were sent. From 1904 to 2006 there was a designated leper colony and they had their own isolated political systems including their own currency.

We were shown some of the historic buildings, such as where a food distribution center was, and wandered around reading poorly translated signs about the colony. These days the hospital remains and provides a valuable resource to the local community.

Unfortunately when we got back on the boat it was still raining a little bit but it wasn’t so heavy that we were able to go to a coral reef to snorkel. The reef was incredibly long and ended at a sunken ship. The boat dropped us off upstream and we swam slowly along, following Ali as he pointed out three different turtles.

We swam along the length of the reef which got shallower toward our left and plunged away into the depths on our right. We saw tons of coral and colorful fish. I saw a small squid for the first time ever and watched as it crept ‘backwards’ toward the dark blue depths.

At the sunken wreck, the Filipinos showed off their free-diving skills by swimming down and through the ships chambers. Ali took a video on Katie’s go pro where he swam through the ship and the video was over a minute long!

Because of the rain they had to change our plan from camping on a beach to staying on Pass island, the same spot for the third night too. As we approached we could see Pass Island looming in front of us and a huge storm of dark clouds and rain curtains towards our left, inching closer by the minute. We thought we would make it to the island just before the storm hit us but we didn’t make it. Cold, pelting rain came at us from every direction just minutes before we anchored on shore.

We left our stuff and ran ashore to our assigned cabin and then just stood there admiring the power of the monsoon from under a palm-covered overhang. I had to pee and didn’t know where the bathrooms were so we ran back into the ocean which felt like the nicest, most comforting, warm bath water in comparison to the chilling rain from above.

We sat in the ocean for a bit and looked around in wonder. If you’ve never sat in the ocean during a rain storm, you have to try it at least once. With every raindrop the ocean responds with its own vertical drop so that when you look around you it seems like the sea is boiling and there’s an inch layer of water chaos covering the ocean’s surface.

It didn’t seem like the rain would ever stop so we conducted a rescue mission with one rain jacket and a dry bag to pull things off the boat that we needed for the night. We sat in our warm hut until dinner when all of a sudden the rain went away.

Tuesday, May 17

Our first stop was to Black Island, the one we were supposed to have camped on the night before. It’s called Black Island because the sheer black, rocky cliffs have less vegetation than surrounding islands, making it stand out in the most ‘pirates had to have buried treasure here’ kind of way. Also, it has lots of caves which the Japanese made use of for shelter when they occupied the Philippines in WWII and which were subsequently plundered by Filipinos looking for any valuables the Japanese may have hid there.

The first cave we went into had a deep grotto area that all the boys felt the need to dive into while the girls looked up at the bats lining the high alcoves. Ali asked us all to get into the water and he gathered us around to hold hands in a circle. The water was cold, much colder than the ocean. We paid respect to the cave’s spirits with a moment of silence. Then Ali said, in a calm, soothing cave prayer voice, “ok…now everyone…I’m going to count to three…and then…we all pee” immediately after Ali and G started splashing us with the cold water and we huddled to get out of the grotto.

We went into another cave for a peek before going to the third cave which we passed through and didn’t loop back. Ali had brought beer bottles with diesel soaked napkin wicks that he lit and left along the cave path for us to find our way through the dark hallway. There was a sketchy ladder climb followed by some intense rock scrambling but then we emerged out onto a pristine, empty beach nestled between the craggy black cliffs.

Dirty from the cave climbing, we all ran into the ocean to wash off and lay on our backs looking up at the crazy beautiful scenery. It was our favorite beach of the Philippines. Somehow we got into the idea of playing chicken, where teams sit on each others shoulders and try to knock each other down. Carl and I beat Beth and Katie and then were surprised to beat the ever sporty Jaime and Águeda. Finally Ali and G came at us with apprehension (and possibly fear?) and we knocked them down in record time. Carl and I learned we are very good (so far undefeated) at chicken.

Uncle Bob had brought all our snorkel stuff to the beach via kayak so we were able to put on fins and mask and swim back to the boat, eyeing some reef and colorful fishies along the way.

The next stop was another island where we had lunch on a big wooden picnic table. Of note, they served us two huge grilled fish that Jaime had helped catch along with the crew when they went out that morning just after sunrise to go spear fishing. The fish plus the really good, authentic chicken adobo reminded us how special the trip was – swimming on remote tropical beaches one minute and then having a huge, delicious lunch on another beach the next.

Up to this point the trip had been go go go but on this beach we were given time to just chill. We played in the surf and then noticed another huge storm moving in. Traumatized from the previous day, all six of us passengers put our belongings into the captains area on the boat and then hung out in the water, near the boat, in case the impending storm came and we needed to get on quickly. However, the storm seemed to move past us on the horizon which spared us another cold afternoon and provided epic light for our photos.

Like little kids Carl and I looked for and played with found shells and coral. We each found a long, skinny piece of white coral shaped much like a middle finger that we used to make pretend we were New Yorkers in traffic again. We also found tons of intact shells and a small, still-living starfish which I carried out to deeper waters and let go, hoping it would find a new, safer foothold.

Eventually they had us get back on the boat to go to the last spot for the day. We went to a “wreck” – a small sunken ferry – that had a good amount of coral and fish but was otherwise uninteresting. We explored the reef around the wreck which was shallow on one side but there wasn’t as much life as the day before. Carl and I did find a nemo (clownfish) family living in an anemone that were very social. When we dove down to get a closer look the mom and dad (second biggest and biggest nemos) would swim up to our goggles and look us straight in the face like ‘sir ma’am, can I help you find what you’re looking for?’

On the way back to the boat we saw a creature that was like a jelly tube rolled into the shape of a mustache. We didn’t know if it was a jellyfish or something else but we didn’t think it worth it to poke it and find out.

Back at our Pass Island again, Ali told us to climb the hill to the other side to watch the sunset. There were tons of clouds and not a lick of sunset but we had a nice chat with Katie, Beth, Águeda and Jaime while enjoying the epic coastal view from atop the island.

After the sun went down and before dinner, Uncle Bob gave us a special presentation of his fire dancing skills. Like the guys in Thailand, he had two flaming balls on the end of strings that he whirled around as he danced. He was really good!! Then each of us got a turn at standing in the middle while he danced with the fire balls around us. I didn’t think I’d had enough beer to be willing to do it, but somehow Uncle Bob was very trustworthy and he didn’t burn a single one of us.

At dinnertime the whole crew was invited to join us, and they did for a little bit, before going back to the boat. Ali explained that Filipinos are naturally shy, and that the crew didn’t want to intrude. We stayed up, listening to music and talking with everyone until finally we had to go to sleep, dreading the next day because it was the end of the trip.

Wednesday, May 18

We appreciated that the BDBM crew were able to squeeze in one final destination on the last day, despite that Carl and I almost didn’t make it to our flight on time.

We said goodbye to Pass Island and set out to the hot springs. Ali explained that there are other hot springs on the mainland, but that location is overcrowded with tourists. The spot we went to was ours alone and from the outside you couldn’t even tell it was there.

The boat stopped in front of an island, next to a mangrove forest. We were told to take our masks and fins and swim through the mangroves. It was so cool to see the bottom of these trees and swim through narrow, shady tunnels to a secret spot. We all tried and failed to not think of whether there were any crocodiles or sea snakes lurking just around the bend.

Eventually we emerged into a sort of clearing in the mangrove forest and saw that someone had constructed a rock and cement wall around the base of a cliff, to keep the hot spring water in. Well, the tide was really high so the water flowed over this wall. But if anything it made the experience more interesting as we swam and moved through patches of really hot and cold again.

Myself and the Scottish sisters had sunburns that did not feel great in the hot water, but we eased ourselves in and enjoyed it anyways. Uncle Bob and G came in on kayak through a separate entrance, lugging a cooler full of beers for us. Since this was our last stop and there were no more meals to serve us, the other crew (Chef Ramon and Dudz) were able to join us and enjoy the relaxing break. Uncle Bob stayed dry on a rock overlooking the hot pool and he took pictures for us and gave us a little reggae dance show.

Then we had to leave, swim back to the boat, and take a boat ride back to Coron town. Carl and I deck changed on the boat and had all our bags ready to go for the airport when – OF COURSE – it started to rain again! We pulled out our trash bags to cover our backpacks and put on our rain coats, eyeing the time and squinting to see whether we were close to shore yet.

Our flight was scheduled to depart at 1:30pm, boarding at 12:30pm. We finally got to Coron (and found a place to park the boat!) at 11:30. Luckily, Ali helped us arrange an airport van which was waiting for us as we arrived. We said very rushed goodbyes and had a long, carsick journey to the airport, arriving just after 12. The airport was tiny, just one gate, and our flight was of course late so we had plenty of time. The plane was so tiny that my backpack didn’t even fit into the overhead and they had to give her her own seat in row 14!

Wednesday, May 11

We walked down to the waterfront to a cafe for breakfast and had some spam and fried egg with rice and a side of chocolate cake. Our van to El Nido picked us up promptly at 9 but then went to several hotels, the airport, and a tourist agency at a gas station TWICE before hitting the road. It was almost 11am by the time we started heading north for our scheduled 5 hour drive.

Luckily Carl and I got the front seats so we could actually sit facing forward without losing our kneecaps. Being tall is a huge disadvantage in many countries and this becomes painfully obvious when riding in a van or bus in the Philippines.

At 1pm we stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. The food available was displayed behind a glass counter so we could point to what we wanted and they dished it out onto small plates. Carl picked the chicken adobo looking dish and I went for the eggplant because it had been so good at other spots.

The eggplant and mixed vegetables had been doused in some kind of fish sauce that tasted like, well, old fish. There wasn’t even a hint of vegetable taste. Just vegetable texture and 100% foul fish taste. We couldn’t eat it. I tried giving it to a stray dog but she only liked the pumpkin. The chicken was better but mostly fatty pieces. Carl ate most of it and I decided I wasn’t really that hungry.

Before we left we got a Buko pie. Buko is like coconut jelly and is the same as the amazing drink we had on Malapascua. This pie was amazing and we were able to save some of it for a future breakfast.

The road was incredibly windy and it felt like our driver was still learning how to drive on curvy roads. I felt so carsick despite being in the front. Finally we got to a spot close to El Nido where the driver opened a gate and let out the woman and little girl that had shared the passenger seat. It seemed like it was his wife and daughter and he was dropping them off at home before taking the rest of us into town.

We noticed our hostel was on the way so we asked to be let off on the side of the road. He screeched to a halt and let us out at a random bend, barely pulling out of the way of traffic. We grabbed our backpacks and walked along the busy road until we saw Outpost Beach Hostel sign on the beach side and walked down the stairs.

We got there right as another women was getting out of a tricycle and walked down with us, telling us where to go. The wooden stairs went down to the beach and then we walked along the beach for less than a minute, past abandoned looking shacks, to arrive at a two-story wooden building with Outpost written on it.

Our timing was perfect. It was almost 5pm. We checked in and got a couple of beers and a table within view of the ocean and within reach of the WiFi, ready to watch the sunset. One of the reasons we had chosen this hostel over the ones closer to town was its boasting as being a perfect sunset spot. They didn’t lie, because it really was.

As the sun set and the sky changed from blue to yellow to pink, it seemed that everyone in the hostel came out to watch it and take photos. Once it was fully down everyone went back to drinking, dancing, and playing beer pong.

Carl and I strolled down the beach in search of a restaurant we’d seen on google maps called Karl’s BBQ. It took a while but we eventually found it in a yuppier shopping complex that was ghostly empty and desperate for tourism. Three waitstaff said hello and helped us find a table- we were the only ones there the whole time we ate.

We got a half rack of ribs and lechon kawali. Lechon kawali is pork belly fried twice. This time it was a little dry. The ribs though. It seemed the hunk of meat they’d given was combined Baby Back and St Louis ribs and the portion of meat they had served was so generous that it seemed impossible to eat it all. But Carl cannot stand food waste so he sacrificed his health and well-being and ate 99%, leaving some soggy fries.

Grotesquely full, we stumbled back along the dark beach to our hostel and were pleased to find how quiet our room was despite the rave happening in the lobby.

Thursday, May 12

Worried that we might arrive to the hostel too late to book a tour for Thursday, we had decided to book an island tour online beforehand. All the tours seemed to direct through Get Your Guide, which had served us well in Puerto Princesa.

From El Nido there are three island-hopping tours to choose from: Tour A, B, or C. Each includes different locations. We’d heard that A and C were the best and that A included the famous Big Lagoon so we opted for that one. It was 3,000 pesos for both of us (about $60) which seemed like a great deal.

The confirmation email told us to meet at Art House Cafe at 830-845 so we left the hostel around 8 in a tricycle and tried to get some coffees at the Art Cafe first. We’d finished our coffees and it was 8:44am and we’d seen no one tour-guide-like. We walked down to the street and a random person asked us if we were doing the tour that day and he happened to have Carl’s name on a piece of paper. Voilà.

He directed us to a series of folding tables and instructed us to rent water shoes and snorkels. We questioned the water shoes but he assured us that if we stepped on coral in the morning our whole day would be ruined, so we gave in. The woman renting the shoes and snorkels offered to watch our flip flops for the day. This seemed unnecessary but we reasoned she probably wanted some sort of collateral and was asking us politely to leave our shoes, so we did, wondering if we’d see them again. The shoes and snorkel (we had one from Thailand still) were each 100 pesos, about $2, adding $6 to our cheaply booked tour.

Next we were lead to another table where we had to pay the environmental fee and some sort of boat permit. This was 400 pesos each. Another $16. We thought, whatever, it’s still very cheap. Then we were given a piece of paper that had Carl’s name and the name of our boat, Captain Evy, and told to wait until 9-930 for our boat. At 9am it was already blisteringly hot and there was not a lick of shade anywhere on the beach. People were squatting under abandoned building porches and crowding into stuffy alley ways that led back to the street. We found a spot against a building where, if we stood up straight, the shade covered us.

Finally we saw Captain Evy and her crew nudge their way onto the shore area. We got on and noticed our boat was quite full. There seemed to be some issue and one of the staff asked us which boat we were supposed to be on. We said Evy. He said are you sure? And I had to pull out the little handwritten piece of paper to show him. He thanked me and handed it back noting that only 24 people had paid and were allowed to be on the boat, yet he counted 26. He didn’t check anyone else’s paper, and we set out. Later we realized that we were the only non-Filipino aboard and that 3/4 of the boat was from the same family. But still, they never checked anyone else’s paper, letting the two stowaways get away with it…

Our first stop was Seven Commando’s Beach. Carl and I decided to leave all our stuff on the boat and go snorkeling. We asked the guide if there were fish to see here. He said, “yes, there is a fish”. So we were happily surprised to see many fish! And all so shallow and close to the shore. We saw everything including a long, skinny yellow one I hadn’t seen before and some tiny little black ones that each had two iridescent blue dots.

The next stop was the Big Lagoon. Our boat stopped at a cluster of other boats and we were told that to see the lagoon we had to rent kayaks, another 300 pesos. We did, and it was worth it. They only gave us one paddle so I pulled us into the lagoon while barking at Carl to take photos. It was one of the most gorgeous places I’ve ever seen in my life. The hills jutted up around us an the water was a beautiful light blue. It was so clear and some parts so shallow that we could look down and see fish- my favorite parrotfish!

We went into the lagoon and turned left, toward a shallow cove. There was a guide from another boat excitedly telling us to come SEE! He pointed out a baby reef shark swimming in the shallows. It was about 1.5 ft long and we could see it so clearly through the shallow water.

I handed the paddle over to Carl and in exchange took responsibility as team photographer. We had brought those plastic phone cases to protect from water but they’d gotten tainted from sunscreen sweat so we had to take our phones out for photos. I’d snap some photos and go to put my phone back in it’s safety pouch but then realize I HAD to take another photo because it was so beautiful or there was a new angle and I’d be fumbling to take it out again.

The third stop they called Umbrella Beach because of the cool shaped rock formations on the beach. We got out and watched as the staff set up a table for lunch. They brought the food out, dish by dish, carrying it over their heads as they waded through the water from boat to shore. There was a stove on the back of the boat and a chef had been making us lunch since we set sail that morning.

We were so impressed with the spread. Crab, calamari, chicken adobo, fried pork belly, eggplant (good eggplant!), noodles, grilled fish, mussels, seaweed, and of course tons of rice. There was also perfectly ripe pineapple. We were intimidated by the ravenous crowd surrounding the small table, but our Filipino boat mates ensured we each got a plate and knew what each item was. We pigged out and then walked over to a woman selling cold drinks out of a cooler on the beach and got a delicious Coca Cola for desert. We had just enough time for a tiny snorkel session before jumping back into the boat.

The fourth stop was Shimizu island. Carl and I didn’t even step foot on the beach, which looked very nice and tropically exotic. We went straight to the area between two islands where the guide said was good snorkeling. We saw a bunch of things but were most impressed by the live and colorful coral. There was a large bush of spiny blue coral and nearby some wavy, light green rocky coral. We saw some different type of clown fish that had one long horizontal stripe instead of the distinctive two vertical stripes.

As we swam we kept running into tiny jellyfish or pieces of them. The sting wasn’t bad, more shocking and surprising than painful, but it wasn’t pleasant. I realized why all the Filipinos were wearing long black sleeve and pants.

The fifth and final spot was called secret lagoon. Our boat docked in a shallow spot and we followed a guide toward a rock wall where he pointed out a small, human sized hole that we could climb through. The lagoon was shallow, about waist deep, and the water was somehow colder than the ocean water we had just swam through. We tried to take a lot of photos before fear of dropping our phones in the water overcame us and we enjoyed with just our eyes and fleeting memory.

After the 45 minute boat ride back to town it was about 5:30pm- just in time to hurry back to our hostel for another sunset! We got a tricycle up, over the hill and made it to our hostel just in time. There were storm clouds moving just over where the sun was setting which prevented the amazing colors we had seen the day before but added an interesting, moody effect to the sunset.

We ordered sisig from the hostel restaurant and were so shocked with how good it was. We haven’t had bad sisig yet, but we were impressed nonetheless. We drank a couple beers and used the WiFi (which didn’t reach our room) to do some travel planning work. This included figuring out how to deposit our ‘virtual’ checks that were finally given to us from our travel insurance to cover a canceled flight in Cusco (why must every insurance be so difficult?)

With one bar of WiFi I was able to call Karen to talk plans for Australia, apologizing as she picked up because it sounded like I was in a club with the loud music going on behind me at the hostel. Karen, who has been traveling through Central America since we parted ways in Buenos Aires, was completely unphased by the thought that I’d gone to a club to get WiFi and we continued talking normally. Such is the life of an international backpacker!

Monday, May 9

I woke up thinking I had drunk too much cheap beer the previous night before realizing I’d had 0 alcohol and was instead feeling the beginnings of a cold. After stomach illness, bad sunburn, and now a cold, I was beginning to think I’d never feel fully well again whilst in the Philippines.

We had breakfast and checked out at 9am. Nine hours of travel: trike, ferry, trike, plane, transfer, plane, taxi, and we made it to our hotel, Puerto Pension, in Puerto Princesa. Let the record show, Manila airport is horridly organized and a two hour lay over was almost not enough time to transfer for a domestic flight. Our first plane was slightly delayed to take off and the Manila domestic transfer requires leaving the airport and coming back in again, through security. But we made it.

Just as the sun was setting we walked down to the nearby waterfront park, called Baywalk Waterfront Park. On the walkway several joggers went huffing by as families strolled along holding onto to their little ones or chasing after them as they took off on plastic trikes.

We spotted an open air restaurant and grabbed a table. Around us large families were using their hands to pick up pinchful sizes of sticky rice and seafood bits off of a large banana leaf that covered the table. We ordered the seafood platter for two that came with some tasty cucumber lime juice. They served us a pile of rice covered in a mixture of crab, shrimp, mussels, calamari, bits of grouper, and veggies. The whole thing had been doused in a sauce that reminded us of movie theater popcorn butter. After picking out every last bit of meat from every shell we licked our fingers clean and walked back up the hill to our hotel.

We’d read in the news about violence over the elections in other parts of the Philippines, but our day had gone smoothly as any other and the night in Puerto Princesa was quiet and peaceful.

Tuesday, May 10 – Underground River

Our driver showed up two minutes early, at 6:58am as we hussled downstairs to meet the van. Already inside was another couple, from Montreal. They were of Vietnamese descent so they spoke French (beautifully), English, and Vietnamese. We later learned that they are foodies and have their own YouTube channel where they post videos of themselves eating Asian food from restaurants in Montreal (and an upcoming episode on the Philippines!)

We drove over to another hotel to pick up a family of three: Mom, Dad, and their incredibly cute 5-year old daughter, Martha. They were Filipino but living in New York City (Queens!) and were visiting the mom’s family and her ancestral town.

We also had a driver (named RV? RB?) and a guide named Jed. As every guide does Jed apologized for his lack of English as he fluently described the plan for the day and spoke a little bit about Puerto Princesa’s Underground River.

Voted as one of the seven natural wonders of the world, the Underground River is 7km long and drains into the ocean. Only 4km of the river is navigable but it has been a tourist draw since they created a national park in 1971. Given its accessibility and biodiversity (in it they found 12 new cave minerals and a rare fossil of a manatee ancestor) it is the main tourist draw for the Puerto Princesa area.

The driver put on a video that played on a small screen just below his rear view mirror. Someone had put together a reggae style promo song and accompanying music video for Puerto Princesa that we watched and would have stuck in our heads for the rest of the day.

As we drove by it, Jed pointed out a Vietnamese village where refugees ‘had been put’ following the Vietnam war. Jed said they had been treated kindly and taken care of but that his English vocabulary made it sound like the refugees were corralled there. Our Canadian friends said they understood and we all nodded in agreement that the treatment of refugees is a more complex subject than can be conveyed through a second language.

We had a two hour drive on windy, bumpy roads. Any attempt to close our eyes and rest would be abruptly disrupted by a sudden toss of your head as the van jerked around a corner. When we got to Sabang, a town on the west coast of Palawan and the jumping off point for the river, my head was spinning and – if someone had looked they would have seen- my eyes had cartoon swirls in them.

Jed went to acquire the environmental permits for us as we got out and looked dazed at our surroundings. I opted for an avocado and mango shake, praying that any ice used in it would be filtered. We talked with Martha who showed us her newly purchased dream catcher necklace and asked if we were scared of bats. Her dad had told her there would be a lot of bats in the cave and her brave little mind was still trying to figure out how she felt about this. After not too long we were directed to board a small boat that would take us into the national park.

By this point of our trip in the Philippines we’ve been on dozens of variations of the traditional Filipino boat. They all have had long, bamboo skiffs on either side, usually painted white, that help to keep the boat right side up. This one had a tiny canopy stretched over the top that we had to duck under as the 7 of us sat on two benches facing each other. The sound of the motor blared in our ears as we pushed off (literally, they push off with a giant bamboo pole) and head out into the bay.

It felt like we were going extremely slow but I figured that was the style of this teeny boat. As I was contemplating whether an amateur rowing team would be faster, two other boats came roaring by and passed us, leaving us to navigate their wake. Finally we motored up to the beach and jumped out into the water to walk up to the beach.

We were outfitted with life jackets and helmets and given a few photo opportunities before walking through the jungle to the river. Monkeys had gathered to welcome us as we stepped onto the trail but Jed didn’t like the way they were bearing their teeth, especially as they got close to little Martha, so he shooed them away.

They piled us into a row boat and gave us each an audio guide with one earbud. To minimize the impacts of tourism they opted to have everyone listen to audio guides while the human guide sat in the back and rowed us silently through the cave. We pushed off and the audio started immediately.

Of course, our human guide started speaking, kindly welcoming us to the tour and giving, more or less, exactly the same safety instructions as the audio guide. Seated in the back closest to the driver, I was flustered trying to focus attention on audio guide, human guide, and being in a tiny boat as we approached a huge cave. I paused the audio guide to listen to the human guide and then found myself 30 seconds behind in the tour. As we approached cave formations I would study them, wondering what I was being shown and then hear the explanation 10 seconds later.

As we paddled into the cave entrance the sunlight faded away and we became immersed in the darkness. All around our heads bats chittered and fluttered by, sometimes passing close enough that you could feel the air stir around you. The thick, massive stalactites hung low, tempting us to reach up and touch one. Jed had warned us to be careful to keep our mouths closed while looking up. If cave water should drip onto you, they called it a holy blessing. But if bat guano dripped down, they call that ‘holy shit’.

The tour took us 1.5km upstream to a huge cavern they called the cathedral (real original) where we turned around. The guide shined his light on different cave formations as the audio guide explained (10 seconds later) that we were looking at an angel, a nativity scene, and the last supper. The Philippines were really playing the catholic card hard when they looked at all these stalagmites. Eventually we were also shown the produce section where they pointed out garlic, a mushroom, a corncob and a Japanese eggplant. There was also a formation that looked like a butt which they affectionately named Sharon Stone.

Eventually we looped around and paddled back out into the sunshine. As we walked back to the ocean to catch a boat back down we came across a family of monkeys hanging out right behind the sign that explained what kind of monkeys they are. The baby monkeys were cute, but still untrustworthy.

Then we almost ran into a huge monitor lizard as it crossed the path ahead of us. I asked Jed if he had arranged the animals for us to see and he admitted he had texted them while we’d been in the cave.

We got the slow boat back to Sabang and were directed to an open air restaurant for a Buffett lunch. The food here was actually really delicious. We heaped rice onto our plate and topped it with chicken adobo, some other meaty stew, garlicky vegetables, and some amazing eggplant.

The sauce on the eggplant was vinegary and sweet and I couldn’t get enough of it. There was also noodles, fried lumpia, and some sort of seaweed dish that I passed over but Carl got. He let me taste some and we both agreed it was like eating sea carrots right out of the ocean. Salty! For desert we had fried plantains, watermelon, and juicy pineapple.

We felt stuffed and ready to try and nap in the van when Jed reminded us we had signed up for ziplining. We got in the van and crept down a rutted dirt road into the forest. Jed pointed up the hill and said it would be a 20 minute walk to the top of the zipline.

Jed picked up Martha into his arms and led the way, wading through waist deep waters of a tidal spit in order to get to the beach on the other side. We left the Canadian couple on the beach but the family decided they wanted to try the zipline as well. Jed tried to carry Martha up the hill but she wanted to hike the steep path and ladders on her own. She also scolded him for calling her ‘baby’ saying ‘don’t call me that!’

Martha led the way while her parents huffed and puffed behind us and eventually we made it to the top of the hill and found the wooden platform. They pulled harnesses onto us and slapped helmets on our heads and let us take a few photos before saying ‘ok let’s go’.

No instructions were given, whatsoever. Luckily, we had gone ziplining in Catalina islands for Carl’s birthday and the over abundance of caution and instructions remained in our heads. Most importantly the instruction to not touch the cable which Carl and I were both tempted to do as we immediately were turned around backwards as we flew down the line.

Carl went first and he descended so slowly that I thought for sure he was stuck halfway, over the water, and they were going to send me down to push him along. When it was my turn and he clipped me in I noticed the caribeaners were totally rusted and the locking mechanism that is supposed to screw on was completely loose. I was given no time to question this set up as the guy said ‘sit down’ and pushed me off the ledge for my slow descent down.

Although it wasn’t a fast descent, it was a beautiful one, as my legs dangled over the crystal clear, aquamarine waters just a couple feet below me. We watched as the brave Martha and her enabling family came down the zipline and laughed as Martha persistently asked whether we were going to do the zipline again. To try and discourage her we explained she’d have to walk up the hill again to go down again but then she looked at us like ‘ok when do we go?’ So we told her all the adults were too tired and we trudged back across the tidal spit back to the van.

The ride back seemed shorter and somehow we all fell asleep, despite being jostled relentlessly the whole way.

Back at the hotel we showered and wandered down to the outdoor lobby in search of a light, bubbly beer. We were told the hotel didn’t have any beer so we had to regroup. Looking at google maps we happened to see a brewery within walking distance so we decided to check it out.

Walking along the roads of Puerto Princesa is like walking along the roads of Monument Boulevard in Concord except it’s more humid, and there’s way more bugs and stray dogs. Finally we found the brewery, claimed to be the first and only craft brewery in Palawan. It felt like we were walking down someone’s driveway into their backyard. Then we came upon an outdoor dining area where several benches had been overturned and spiders had obviously claimed dominion over everything. We were about to turn away and render the excursion a failure when a guy came out from nowhere and pointed to a building to our right that said ‘Tap Room’ and had an open door.

As we walked up the steps and into the entrance we were followed by a staff person that turned on the lights, music, and fan. He opened two bottles of IPAs and poured us each a tall, overly foamy glass. We sat there and watched music videos on the tv while admiring the many geckos scurrying over the walls.

We googled a few places to eat but decided that we were overdue for trying Jollibee’s, the Filipino fast food chain. So we walked up to the mall area and found Jollibee’s nestled between McDonald’s and the other Filipino chain, Chow King. Carl ordered the spicy ChickenJoy (two pieces of fried chicken with rice and gravy) and I got the spaghetti and a buko (coconut) pie for desert. My spaghetti tasted like fresh Chef Boyardee. Carl’s enjoyed his spicy, tasty chickenjoy, especially the gravy which he poured over the packet of white rice.

We walked back to our hotel where we watched the Anthony Bourdain episode where he visits Manila and also orders Jollibee’s ChickenJoy and Spaghetti.

Friday, May 6

The Cebu City airport is NICE. Like, new section of Newark airport nice. We got some lechon and sat at the airport bar to drink some San Miguel light. The beautiful bathrooms here almost make up for the horrid ones at every roadside stop. Carl pointed out that the Typhoon in December 2021 probably wiped out the old airport, bance the brand new digs we were now enjoying. The flight to Caticlan was lightning quick- it felt that as soon as we reached altitude we were starting to descend.

On the ground again we opted for a shared van to take us to the ferry port. The ferry ticket system is ridiculous, but the staff manage as best they can. You have to show one person your QR code (COVID pass) and then pay three separate people for environmental fee, terminal fee, and then the actual ferry. The ferry itself took about 10 minutes. Once on Boracay island we pushed our way through the chaos to find a ‘tricycle’ (motorbike with car attached) to take us to our hotel.

We decided to stay on Bulabog beach which is on the east side of the skinny island, opposite side from White Beach which is the real destination. Bulabog is known for being windy and that’s where the kite surfers hang out. It was also cheaper, and close enough to walk to the other side.

We climbed the steps up to our hotel called Ralph’s Place and were pleasantly surprised. After being in a city hostel for three nights this hotel felt like the quietest place on earth. We chilled out for a few hours before going to explore and find something to eat.

We happened upon a place called Pig Out that looked busy. Luckily they squeezed us into a little two top table on the side. We got craft IPAs that were so good! We missed hops! For dinner we ordered smoked ceviche and slow roasted pork belly. The ceviche came out in cute little spoons on a wooden tree ring platter. And it tasted amazing! It was marinated in some sort of coconut sauce that we gobbled up. The pork was also phenomenal. The portion size was a bit small, but it was quality melt-in-your-mouth meat butter.

It seemed like no one else was staying at our hotel and it was dead quiet. We slept so well.

Saturday, May 7

Our main goal of the day was to chill out hard. We started with breakfast at the resort. I got pancakes which were surprisingly good (American style!) and Carl got the corned pork hash that was a bit funky, but good. Then we walked back up the stairs to the garden area, which we had to ourselves. We lathered ourselves in sunscreen and sat on the lounge chairs for a couple hours.

Somehow, we got terribly sunburned. I think the sunscreen, which we had bought for cheap in Thailand, was a dud. We had put sunscreen on and had only been outside from about 10am to noon and we were already painfully burned. Feeling embarrassed, we put clothes on and wandered to D’Mall, the outdoor mall, to get something to eat.

We couldn’t resist mango ice cream and Korean street snack (dukbeoki) on the way so by the time we got to the restaurants, we weren’t that hungry. Instead we got happy hour drinks.

Then we finally made it to White Beach and understood what all the fuss was about. It is a perfect beach. Apparently in 2017 they’d closed it down because it had become overrun with tourists. Now there are no chairs allowed on the beach so people flocked under the huge palm trees for the much needed shade. And still there were tons of people. There were also tons of ‘influencers’ taking glamor shots and it was kinda fun to watch all the do-it-yourself modeling shoots in such a picture perfect location.

We also took some glamour shots and then found a nice palm to hide under. We occasionally took turns running into the water which is perfectly clear, shallow, warm bath water. It was paradise.

As the sun started to go down we walked north along the beach. We saw a trail that went around the bluffs to the other side and decided to check it out. Still there were lots of people taking glamour shots, so we joined them. We watched all the sail boats ride out toward the sunset and then sail back to shore again.

Walking back, we couldn’t decide what to get for dinner. Could we really get pork again? We decided on sushi, even though this broke our rule of eating a different country’s food (i.e., when in Philippines, stick to Filipino food). We also ordered Takoyaki which was pretty good. The sushi was disappointing, but we should’ve known better.

The restaurant was right on the beach and they were trying to lure tourists in with different offers and live music. The music was mostly awful – an older filipino man and woman that had a keyboard and a computer. They were doing electronic covers of boat rock ballads, badly. But then they played a super synthy song, like the one you’d play when you first played with a keyboard, and it was pretty catchy and fun.

We walked back to the hotel and drank some Red Horse while watching Nat Geo on TV.

Sunday, May 8

Those that play together, stay together. But some occasional time apart is important too. Anni slept in and caught up on Game of Thrones while Carl went to do some kiteboarding …

From Carl:

Staying on the windy side of the island I was mesmerized by the kite surfers every morning, and decided to give it a go. Most of the board shops were still closed while tourism picks back up, but I found a cute family owned place still in business with mom running the register, dad tending the chickens out back, and the eldest son giving kite surfing lessons. I signed up for the 3 hour beginner lesson, being told there was a chance I’d be able to get up on the board after that long.

We started at 8am with an overview of the equipment and safety features. Essentially you are strapped into a harness that is then attached to the kite, with a handlebar that can be used to rotate the parachute and adjust the drag. The first 2 hours were spent in the water playing with the kite. These things are powerful, easily able to pull you out of the water and across a distance of 50 feet, so my instructor tethered himself to me until I got a handle of things.

I have never managed a kite like this before, but after a while it started to click and I had fun dragging myself through the water by kite power. This process also filled every sinus in my face with salt water. Once I could prove I could release myself in an emergency and reset the kite from the water, we were ready to grab a board.

The wind was still intense but the water fairly calm, so my instructor grabbed me what looked just like a wakeboard (apparently in rougher waters one uses more of a surfboard). Wind power trumps whatever drag a boat can make, and with a quick dip of the parachute I was up and on the board. My wakeboarding instincts hurt me a bit though because pulling the handlebar close as one does in wakeboarding increases the drag and causes the kite to crash down into the water.

After working out the kinks though I was up and kite boarding! I still have plenty of work to do on kite control and tacking, but it was really fun to get up and cruise across the bay. My arms were wiped from 3 hours of intense kite steering, so I pulled myself ashore and said goodbye to my kite surfing family, ready to find Anni and lunch.

…

We wandered back to D’Mall in search of something to eat. We ended up at a place called I love BBQ and got some barbecued pork belly and some sweet ice teas. The meat was good and we were impressed with the potato and rice pairings that also came on a hot sizzling platter. Afterward we got some mango soft serve ice cream and did some people watching for a bit.

Still painfully sunburned, we opted to go back to the hotel for quiet time. Later that night we walked down the hill again for dinner. We went to a place called Kolai Mangyan that offered authentic Filipino food. We got sisig, bud bud beef, and a fresh lumpia. We ordered at the counter and grabbed a table number and some canned pineapple juices.

Despite signs saying the place was short staffed, the food came out quick. And it was SO good. Real sisig with crunchy pig snout and spicy peppers. We’d never had fresh lumpia before (only fried) and it was weird but good. Kind of like mushu pork wraps, with different spices. Finally the bud bud beef was sweet marinated beef with sticky rice and it was different, and good. The whole meal cost about $8.

The Philippines are having their elections on Monday, May 9. In elections prior, there have been violent protests and riots. So, in an effort to quell any bad behavior, there was an alcohol sale ban in place starting May 8 at midnight for 24 hours. Perhaps being overly cautious, the restaurants and shops in Boracay were not selling any alcohol all day on May 8. We hadn’t planned to go out, but this ban cemented our plans to watch Nat Geo, pack our bags, and go to sleep early.

Planning our trip to the Philippines has been some of the most challenging trip planning yet. When you say you’re going to the Philippines anyone that has also been should then ask you, “where?”. Because, unlike Cambodia that has its two main tourist pulls, the Philippines is made up of over 7,000 islands that each have something cool to do or see.

We read several blogs and tried to hit the absolute must sees. Still, on our first dive in Malapascua someone said “you’re not going to Bohol??!” To which I had to reply “we are doing our best!” So when we booked our flight to Cebu we knew we wanted to dive in Malapascua (check) and see whale sharks in Oslob, the sardines in Moalboal, and Kawasan falls somewhere in the middle of the island.

We decided to stay in Cebu City and make day trips from here rather than have to change hotels every night and worry about reaching new places. Cebu city itself did not seem like a nice place but we didn’t explore it at all so we can’t say for sure. Our time on Cebu island was spent on day trips toward the south.

Wednesday, May 4

We were kept awake most of the night from stomach cramps and super loud music playing until way late. Despite barely sleeping, we followed through on plans for a day trip to Oslob with an early start because we are masochists.

We got ready and were in the car by 5am. We hadn’t intended to book a private tour, but that’s the way it worked out and ended up being a nice treat. Carl and I sat in the backseat of a small sized car and slept for the 3 hours until breakfast. We made one stop for coffee and bathroom and our driver told us he is very conscious about stopping when he is tired in order to be a safe driver. We agreed. Then he told us he had been in an accident with a motorcyclist who had been drunk and hadn’t been wearing a helmet and the guy had died. Our driver had spent three nights in jail because of it, and it obviously still wore on his conscious and focused his attention to safety while driving.

We got to the breakfast spot and they served us coffee and sweet sticky rice with banana. I asked if they had any other fruit because Carl is allergic to banana (and our stomachs were bad enough still!) but they said no. So Carl ate just sticky rice for breakfast and I had two bananas. This was just as well because it was about all we could eat. Then they took us just down the road to a dive shop.

In a coastal town called Oslob, about 3 hours south of Cebu City, a group of fisherman discovered that if they fed the whale sharks that pass by, the whale sharks would return again and again in search of this free meal. So, instead of killing the whale sharks, they fed them, and started charging tourists to go out snorkeling and take photos with them.

We had mixed feelings about the morality of this scheme. On the one hand, the fisherman weren’t killing the sharks and were promoting conservation of them through tourism while boosting the local economy. On the other hand, feeding them could be disrupting their natural behavior in ways we don’t fully understand yet.

We debated whether to go to Oslob to see the whale sharks but many people told us it was worth it and we read that they haven’t found (in studies conducted so far) that feeding them has disrupted their migratory behavior. So we decided to scuba dive with the sharks as a way of seeing them but not being with the hoards of tourists that snorkel. We were very happy we decided to scuba dive rather than snorkel because we were the only ones swimming under 5ft of depth.

At the dive shop they quickly outfitted us with some cheap gear (the guide was wearing two different fins) and gave us a super quick briefing before we just walked into the ocean and went underwater. The scuba guide took tons of photos and videos on a go pro and asked for $10 to transfer them to our phone, which seemed like a good deal.

It was really cool to be so close to such big, beautiful creatures. And there were so many! We swam around and our guide was hyper focused on taking photos of us (more focused on photos than dive safety, but it was ok). While the sharks were eating they were right next to the boat and there were tons of people swimming around them.

Occasionally a shark would drop down and swim a lap and that’s when they’d swim RIGHT by us. They couldn’t care less that we were there, holding our breath and using our bodies beside them to try and measure how big they were. There were a couple HUGE ones that I didn’t want to get too near in case it crushed me, but most were about 12 feet long. Their white spots seemed to sparkle under the light of the water.

I still have mixed feelings about the whole operation but I’m selfishly happy that we got to do it and see so many so close to us.

Afterwards we were able to rinse off and change. The tour was supposed to include a trip to some nearby waterfalls. Carl asked if we were going to the falls next and they replied ‘no, sorry, the falls are closed on Wednesday for cleaning’…ok…what? We were annoyed they hadn’t told us this before (and also, how do you clean a waterfall?). But later we emailed the company and got a small refund.

We got back in the car and drove the three hours back to Cebu City. Back at Mad Monkey hostel we asked about day trips for the next day. One staff person, named Rad, signed us up but said we needed to get at least one other person to join to make the cost worth it. He invited us to welcome drinks hour that night (and open bar) to meet people and get someone to sign up. We agreed and went to take our daily nap.

At 7 we went to the welcome hour. We met 3 Dutch girls, 3 French coworkers, and three other Europeans joined later. Rad said someone else had signed up for the tour tomorrow so we weren’t worried about it. We had our free welcome drink, talked to people a bit, then headed out to find some authentic dinner.

We walked to a nearby place called Lighthouse. We ordered pork lechon (slow roasted pork belly) and something from the vegetable menu. We also got two sprites because our bellies weren’t fully recovered. The pork lechon was SO good that I cried a little after my first bite.

The vegetable ended up being deep fried pumpkin chips with a thick cheesy sauce that tasted like someone had taken that cheesy popcorn that comes in a metal holiday tub and put it through a food processor to make it liquid. In other words, it was weird, but still good in a fatty, cheesy way. It was nice to eat almost a full meal again and we felt like we were on the road to recovery.

We went back to the hostel and went to sleep very early again.

Thursday, May 5

We met in the hostel lobby at 6am. We thought one of the mad monkey staff would be joining us, but Kyle, the other participant, said he knew it would just be us three. So we piled into a car and got started on another long drive, this time to Moalboal. Kyle is from Canada and makes a living creating seals around oil pipelines. He worked on the keystone pipeline. He talked about his taste for buying knock off brand name clothes, like his Crocs tank and matching shorts he was wearing. Needless to say, we had little in common, but he was nice, and ready for adventure, so we were happy to have him on board.

When we got to Moalboal we were directed to leave our stuff in the car and put our clothes on a random rock while a guide went and got us snorkels. He came back, we put the snorkels on, and followed him into the ocean. As soon as we got out to the spot we saw it – the giant swarm of sardines. It was like a moving mountain underwater.

Carls first instinct was to dive right into the middle of them. As I stayed above and watched I saw all the sardines swim away and form a perfect cleft for Carl, as if he had dove into a bowl of rice.

We played around in the sardine stream for a while. We tried to go through them and then under in order to look up and see them in a perfect circle above. Unfortunately, we again had no camera with us but later Rad shared some of his photos, which I’ve stolen for blog readers here to get a sense of how epic this sardine run was.

After a bit the guide directed us over to where a turtle had been spotted. I was worried that so many snorkelers in the water would harm the turtle but this guy couldn’t have cared less. This was an average day of it’s life. We watched it swim slowly around, munching on algae, and occasionally come up to the surface for air. It was so cute!

After this we swam back, got out, and rinsed off using a bucket of water in a random bathroom that seemed to be in someone’s house. Then back in the car.

We next went to an area called Alegria. There used to be a canyoneering tour in a canyon called Kawasan Falls. The typhoon in December 2021 had wrecked havoc on Cebu island and had severely changed Kawasan canyon for the worse. So instead we went to Alegria which was along the same river line. First they outfitted us with life jackets and helmets. We went to an office to pay the environmental fee and then we got on the back of motorbikes to go up the hill. Kyle got on one and Carl and I both got on the back of another.

The hill was steep and at some spots rocky and narrow. The motorbike ride itself was an adventure!! We rode all the way to the top of a steep hill. At the top of the hill we got off and at the same time a guide on the back of another bike pulled up too. He got out and introduced himself as -G something?- and said let’s go! And we followed him down a walking path.

Finally we reached the river and the first jump in spot. The canyon had obviously been damaged by the typhoon with cliffs still eroding, trees and vines hanging over the edge, and large boulders haphazardly placed. The water was a light, bright blue. It looked like glacial melt water and we couldn’t get over how pretty it was! It was like being in a perfect tropical jungle.

The guide jumped in first, showing us where to jump and how to jump in case it was shallow. Then we floated down the water for a bit until the next spot where we had to get out and climb a bit before jumping in again. We repeated this down the canyon. We were the only ones there and it felt like our own jungly paradise playground. We saw hot pink colored dragon flies, green iridescent beetles, blue and green iridescent butterflies, and tons of other weird bugs and spiders.

After an especially tall jump (about 40 feet) we found a little overhang cave area where there were stalactites and stalagmites actively forming. The water came over this overhang from two sides forming a powerful waterfall. We sat under this for a bit and it was the best shoulder massage ever.

At one point we came to a clustering of tables and chairs that had been set up under an easy-up type tarp. For a second I thought they were going to feed us lunch there but then we realized that people were living along the river and this was their dining room. Earlier we had asked the guide where he was from and he said ‘here’ and we said ‘oh, Cebu?’ and he said ‘no, HERE’ and pointed to the river. This interaction plus seeing furniture on bluffs and people washing their clothes and selves in the water made us realize how many people were living in the river and using it for all their daily needs. Seemed pretty cool! But I’d still rather have my bug-less, air conditioned room with WiFi.

Toward the end as we were about to get out of one of the last pools the guide pointed out a string of beads in the water. They were frog eggs! Then we saw lots of tadpoles and a big (dead) frog.

At the end we climbed back up a slope to a road where the motorbikes were waiting to take us back. We were sad to leave as it felt like we’d had a little piece of tropical jungle all to ourselves to explore and play in.

For lunch they took us to a restaurant for a portion of white rice and nicely barbecued chicken. Then it was back in the car for another long drive back to the city.

Back at Mad Monkey we decided to get dinner there to take advantage of their Cinco de Mayo deals. We got nachos that came with a free margarita and both were (obviously) disappointing. We finally had hunger back so we ordered another pork dish that was ok. The mad monkey staff came by and asked us how our trip was and tried to get us to join drinking games. This time we didn’t have the excuse of needing to wake up early. But, we had been out all day and we’re still recovering from being sick so we politely said no and snuck off for another early bedtime.

We were proud of ourselves for still going hard through a demanding itinerary of adventure activities and lots of transit despite being really sick and having very little sleep. We were really looking forward to doing nothing but sit on a beach in Boracay…

Friday, May 6

We finally got to sleep in and it was glorious. We wandered over to a posh area looking for a cafe that served breakfast. We ended up at Bo’s Coffee which seems to be a Filipino chain. The coffee was ok but the winner was the spam and egg sandwich. It was on an English muffin with egg, melty American cheese, and salty spam. It tasted like it would clog an artery and it was so good. Imagine feeling like you’re hungover for 4 days and then waking up one morning, feeling better, and eating the best hangover food. It healed.

As we walked back to the hostel some kids we passed on the street yelled, ‘hello! Where are you from??’ in perfect English. We said ‘US’ and their eyes lit up as they said “we want to go there someday!” It was very cute and genuine. We walked back to the hostel and packed, getting ready to go to the airport.

Sunday, May 1

We landed in Manila at about 5am local time. The flight had only been 3 hours with a meal served so we had barely slept. Carl remembered that, on a previous Asia trip, he had a layover in Manila that was the most disorganized international transfer of his life. This time, despite being a transfer from international to domestic, was no different. Manila airport needs to get their act together.

First we sat on the plane at the gate for half an hour. Not sure what this accomplished except then we got off our plane at the same time as a huge flight from Canada so we were all in the chaos together. There were tons of staff dressed in military uniforms directing us around the airport, sometimes in contradictory ways. We stopped at a desk where they checked our COVID vaccine card and gave us a stamp on our old boarding pass (luckily I didn’t lose mine yet!) and then we waited in a line along a staircase where people cut in and out because it wasn’t clear where foreigners vs. Filipinos were supposed to go. When we got to the immigration desk they barely asked any questions and stamped our passport.

Then we were directed outside and had to double back to find the departures terminal again. Through multiple security checks, we made it to our gate where we waited for several hours. We happened to sit right behind two Americans that had just met each other and were talking about how democrats stole the election and were getting away with all kinds of things.

The older guy had a large, lab-looking dog that had ‘service dog’ written on its vest. The man was very proud of this dog, bragging about how the dog could sense if something was wrong and follow commands perfectly. Then the man heard his name called by airline staff and all of a sudden got up to go to the desk. He told his dog to sit and wait. Luckily this new trump-supporting friend was next to him to hold onto the dog because the dog immediately started whining and barking and trying to go after his owner. So much for all that supposed training.

Upon arrival in Cebu around 10am we were exhausted. We walked outside to look for the city bus that goes to the bus station. A woman intercepted us and told us there were no buses. No buses. That seemed entirely unbelievable but we were so tired and we didn’t see the buses or signs for them anywhere. She directed us to a taxi and when we balked at the price, she offered to cut it down. At least the taxi was air conditioned. He took us to the Cebu City bus terminal.

When we got out, there wasn’t a clear entrance and tons of people were yelling at us asking where we wanted to go. Finally one guy said MAYA PORT THIS BUS! And directed us toward a bus that looked like a hybrid school/city bus. Other people yelled at us, but we said ‘this guy yelled at us first’ so we went with him. We each got our own school bus size seat and were able to almost lay down and nap a little.

The bus took 4 hours and was constantly pulling over to let people on or off, not at designated bus stations, but wherever people wanted. It was like a glorified dollar bus that we knew from NYC. Every so often guys would get on to sell food and water and then they’d jump off at the next stop while the bus was still moving. The bus doors never closed so I got a nice breeze and decent views of the city and ocean as we passed by, all the while praying we didn’t ever suddenly turn sharply left.

Finally they let us off on the side of the road and pointed toward another road that said Maya Port was at the end. We thought it’d be right there but it ended up being nearly a mile walk, up and back down a hill, to the port. When we finally reached it we had to pay an environmental fee in a nice looking office.

Then we walked out to a shipping container office to purchase the ferry ticket. A bunch of people were in the office but no action was happening and no one was speaking. Everyone was watching loud videos on their phones (without earphones of course). I pulled my obnoxious American card and said loudly, ‘what’s the deal here?? Can we buy ferry tickets here??’ and a Filipino tourist responded that we had to wait until the top of the hour before they’d sell us tickets. So we waited in the hot box, staring at the staff and other passengers.

Finally at 3pm they had us write down our names and purchase ferry tickets. Then we all walked over to a seemingly random boat (they said look for the one with Juan Maria written on the side). Like a balance beam act we walked onto the boat via a haphazardly placed wooden plank while a nice guy held out his hand to steady me and all my luggage hanging off my back.

After a nice 45 minute boat ride we arrived to Malapascua island. As we disembarked I looked I to the water and could see huge pink spiny starfish hanging out under the clear water, amongst pieces of trash.

Everyone and their 5-year old child were saying ‘hello’ and ‘welcome!’ It confused us because it seemed that only some people were trying to sell us something but the rest were just being friendly, it seemed.

According to google maps we were supposed to go right down one road, left down another and then walk along the beach. Well the ‘roads’ ended up being very narrow alleys with gravel or beach sand roads. We wandered our way to the beach and then walked along until we found Little Mermaid Dive Resort.

Upon check in the woman seemed to have trouble finding our reservation and I nearly cried. I realized how totally exhausted we were from such a trek to get to this remote place. Thankfully she found the reservation and checked us in and we were able to turn the AC on full blast and nap for several hours. When we woke we decided to have dinner at the hotel. The restaurant was on the second floor overlooking the beach and they had cute little white light strings as decoration. We got pork adobo and chicken stir fry and they were ok.

Monday, May 2

We woke up at the buttcrack of dawn to get into the dive boat at 5am. Roland, the manager of the dive center at Little Mermaid and our guide for the day, was nice enough to fit us in last minute to their daily thresher shark dive. This spot in the Philippines has a near guarantee that you’ll see thresher sharks. The sharks spend the night in the deep water, hunting and eating fish. In the morning they come up to a particular rock (the Monad Shoal) where the ‘cleaner fish’ live to get their face and teeth cleaned off, just like you would wipe your mouth with a napkin at the end of a meal!

Technically you need to have advanced certification for this dive because of how deep you need to go to get to the ‘cleaning station’. We were able to do an ‘adventure dive’ which cost more but can count toward our advanced certification later, if we choose to do it. We also had to read a chapter in Roland’s dive book and answer some quiz questions, which ended up being kinda fun for us, since we have been missing our old trivia days.

We got to a seemingly random spot in the ocean and there was only one other dive boat out there with us. We descended slowly and followed Roland over a reef to a steep drop off. We descended a bit more over the drop off and it was crazy to look down and see the ominous dark water below. I had never seen such a deep drop before and I felt a rush of awe and fear wondering what kinds of creatures lurked below. All of a sudden we saw a MASSIVE thresher shark emerge from the depths and swim away from us. We could see it’s big namesake tail swish from side to side as it slowly faded away and out of sight. This instant of time will be one of our favorite memories from the whole trip.

My goggles kept filling with water so I had sunk lower to be able to see the shark without looking down as much. All of a sudden I realized I was REALLY deep. I looked up to Roland who was emphatically giving me two thumbs up meaning, “come up! come up!” We rose higher and again marveled at the dark depths below us and the gigantic, beautiful creature that we had just seen.

We swam back to the reef and found a sandy spot with a little rope to hold on to. We settled in on our knees and we waited. And we watched. Very soon we saw another, medium-sized thresher shark emerge and swim in front of us. Thresher sharks are known to be shy so we tried to keep still and not make sounds with our dive gear. The shark got surprisingly close to us as it swam from our left side to our right. It didn’t seem to mind that we were there.

Roland had told us that there was no guarantee we would see a shark and that there was no other marine life to see on this dive. As we swam back toward the boat we realized he had lowered our expectations so that we would be pleasantly surprised because there were lots of things to see besides just the sharks! We saw a huge sea cucumber and lots of tropical fish like angel fish.

We had about an hour of sitting on the boat (surface interval in dive speak) before going down again for the second dive. On the second dive the visibility wasn’t as good so we couldn’t see as far. We still saw a couple sharks emerge and disappear again. Even though it was harder to see them, the visual of seeing a shark emerge out of a blur and coming straight toward you, with its massive tail slinking back and forth behind it- is pretty awesome!

My fancy underwater camera broke on my first dive in Sint Maarten so, unfortunately, we have no photographic proof of our new thresher BFs. We did meet an Australian guy on our boat who had a go pro so I’m hoping to someday steal photos from him. In the meantime I stole this photo of a thresher shark off the internet:

On the way back to the shore we spotted some dolphins in the distance. Then all of a sudden they were right next to us. I leaned over the front right side of the boat and there were three dolphins (one was HUGE) following us right under the boat. It seemed like they were playing with us! They were so close I could’ve touched the big one’s belly as it rolled over to smile at us (or so it seemed).

After the dive we went behind the hotel and walked along the island alleys to a food market. There were many food stalls and several were advertising breakfast. We realized it was still only 11am! We picked a spot that had some good looking food and sat down, pointing to the dishes that looked good. We got some kind of vermicelli noodle and a pork stew. The pork stew had a coconut/vinegar base and it was the best Filipino food we’d had so far! Then the waitress offered us some Boku, a coconut drink we’d never heard of. It has condensed milk and coconut water with coconut chunks in it. It tasted like bottled tropical paradise and we happily chugged it down.

We went back to the hotel to rest in the AC a bit before emerging again to try to catch the sunset. Malapascua island is tiny and we could’ve walked to the other side in half an hour. Instead we made it past a couple of hotels on the beach before we spotted a happy hour deal and decided to stay there. We got drinks and some pork and crab shumai (like Japanese dumplings) that were tasty.

All of a sudden we realized we might miss the sunset so we decided to cut through the island to head back to the west side. We picked a random ‘street’ and ended up walking right through the middle of a little Filipino village. On either side of the narrow sand alley were huts made of corrugated iron sheets and palm fronds. Kids were playing and adults were busy building fires and preparing dinner. Chickens and dogs and cats were everywhere. It felt like the most authentic Filipino island village you’d ever see.

We made it to the west side just in time to see the sunset. The tide was out so people were tending to their boats as little kids ran around and played in the shallow water.

We headed back inland for dinner to a barbecue place we’d eyed before. We split a bottle of Red Horse beer which is actually strong for a cheap beer (7%). We ordered pork sisig and pork adobo and were not disappointed. Finally the authentic Filipino food we had been hunting for!

That night we were both awake all night because of extremely painful stomach cramps. As exhausted as we already were, we couldn’t sleep and in the morning woke up feeling awful.

Tuesday, May 3

We woke up feeling terrible and wondering if we could pull off the extremely ambitious day ahead of us: diving and getting our bodies back to Cebu City via ferry, bus, and taxi. We took some Imodium and reasoned that diving might help.

At 9am we got in a bigger dive boat this time with more people. It was about an hour ride out to Gato island – a small rocky hill in the middle of the ocean. Our dive guide, G.R.?, gave a short and sweet briefing and we headed out with a woman named Katja (so nice, German, lives in Boracay) who we had met diving the day before. We descended extremely quickly and followed the rock around to the right before coming back again against the current.

On this first dive we immediately saw two reef sharks, each hiding within rock crevices. We also saw a couple colorful nudibranchs (one had a purple butt with yellow spikes coming out!), a huge hermit crab the size of my head, some smaller jellyfish that looked like tea lights, moving sea cucumbers, and tons of beautiful and weird starfish. There were a lot fewer fish than in Thailand but way more ‘things’ (all kinds of creatures!) which were fun to spot. We did see lots of Nemos (clownfish) guarding their eggs in anemones.

On the second dive we went through a tunnel that the Gato island dive spot is known for. It wasn’t deep and it was about 5 feet wide but it was about 30 meters long so we needed flashlights to guide us through. In the tunnel we saw two crabs dancing with each other. Outside again we circled around the reef and we saw a massive octopus hanging out under a rock overhang. We saw a black and white sea snake slither away. Toward the end Carl spotted a big greenish yellow cuttlefish that was hanging out in the reef.

I don’t know why, but underwater we felt so much better. Maybe the pressure on our bodies or the focus on breathing and not dying helped divert attention away from twisting, aching bellies. Once we were back on the surface again we felt awful.

On the ride back I closed my eyes for a bit and when I opened them I started seeing stars. I felt a dark tunnel closing in around me and my hearing was going out. I realized I was about to faint. Carl helped me lie down on the bench and got me some water and I’m so glad I didn’t end up fainting. I stayed lying down for a bit until…

As we drew closer to Malapascua we saw heavy dark clouds overhead. In the distance we could see rain curtains covering the horizon. The waves got choppier and then we were in it and cold rain was coming in on us sideways. Everyone tried to huddle behind the captain and the boat wheel but we couldn’t all fit and Carl and I just had to stand and lean awkwardly as cold rain pelted our legs and left sides. Carl and I began to worry whether the rain would thwart our plans to return to the mainland.

Finally we reached Malapascua and ran into the hotel. I ended up taking a shower in the outdoor shower and the water felt warm in comparison to the rain water falling around me. By the time we got ready, the rain had stopped. We got our stuff together and headed toward the ferry dock, grateful the rain had passed.

We encountered the same ferry situation where we had to wait until the hour to buy tickets. And again, when we got tickets we were told to find a random boat called Juan Juana.

Many ferry boats had been delayed by the storm and they all came into the island at the same time, causing chaos in the port. To top it off, the other passengers on our boat was a high school marching band. We watched them load several sizes of drums, two xylophones, and a couple trumpets onto the boat which they had to do by balancing on the same sketchy wooden planks. The band put their instruments in the middle of the boat and I hoped for them they’d stay dry. The ride got pretty choppy and we ended up getting splashed a bit (instruments were spared).

As we disembarked onto the mainland there were several motorbikes and vans waiting to pick people up. One van said they were going to Cebu City and asked us where we were staying which led us to believe they’d take us to our hotel. They said it was 350 pesos a person ($7) which we thought was a good deal for a better ride than the 250 pesos bus had been.

As we loaded in the driver said that we (me, Carl, and the Frenchman with a suitcase) would need to pay for an extra seat because our bags were taking the space where otherwise a paying passenger could sit. The van wasn’t full and there was no one else on the dock so we said ‘what other passenger??’ and later realized they would do the same maneuver of picking up anyone and everyone from the side of the road. We offered to split the cost with the Frenchman but, of course, he refused saying if he could sit in another seat in the front he could keep his suitcase next to him (this wouldn’t have been possible by the way). We argued for many minutes and threatened to get out before the guy said ‘ok fine’. But then he didn’t have change for our bill anyways and said he’d give it to us later (he didn’t).

The van was faster than the bus but it still picked up people and at one point we were totally full (and felt less bad because we felt we did need to pay for a seat for our stuff). We were surprised how alive the streets were for a Tuesday night, later realizing Eid al-Fitr is a recognized holiday in the Philippines that many people get off from work. It was way too bumpy and cramped to nap so when we showed up to the bus terminal (not our hotel!) we were very grumpy.

Two motorbikes offered to give us a ride the rest of the way to the hostel. Carl got on one and I hopped on the back of another- nearly knocking him down as the heavy weight of my backpack swung around unexpectedly. I tried to tell him it was my backpack that was so heavy, not me, but he didn’t seem to care. We zipped through the city for another 15 minutes. I thought the bikes tires would go flat with the weight but we safely arrived at Mad Monkey Hostel Cebu City and hopped off.

Once again the check in desk didn’t seem to have our reservation and again I felt like crying. Finally she found it and gave us a key to a room on the third floor, adjacent to the courtyard which was shared with the restaurant and bar. I had asked for a quieter room but hadn’t expected this request to be honored and it wasn’t. It was like we were on the dance floor.

We still felt sick but had only eaten a few chips and some Oreos all day so reasoned we should eat something more. We went to the hostel’s restaurant and split a pork sandwich that tasted really good but made our stomachs cramp the moment we took a bite. The Mad Monkey staff are always really nice but very pushy to get you to drink and party. We were long past being affected by peer pressure to play beer pong and I took great pride in telling anyone that asked that we would be going to be before 9pm if we could. We slinked back to our room, shoved earplugs deep into our ears and tried to sleep away the bad feelings.

Wednesday, April 27

We had wanted to get a boat from Siem Reap to Phnom Penh but the boats were not running because we are traveling during the end of the dry season and the water levels are too low for transport. So, we opted for a bus. The hostel offered a van for $1 more that seemed like it could be a worthy upgrade.

The van picked us up at 820am. We picked up 6 more passengers at the van office before making the journey southwest, around the lake, Tonlé Sap (the largest freshwater lake in SE Asia). We stopped twice, once at a restaurant for 25 minutes where we ate marginal noodles, second at a bathroom. Bathrooms in Southeast Asia probably have a bad reputation, but after the ones I saw in Bolivia, everything since has been rating 9/10 or higher.

Siem Reap was very much a tourist town, with many businesses closed from COVID. Phnom Penh, however, appeared to be thriving, with masses of people everywhere you looked. Food stalls lined many streets and there were markets on several corners. Walking along you could smell grilled meat, the sweet rotty smell of durian fruit, an occasional lotus flower blossom, and of course, diesel.

Sidewalks were used for street food vendors and parking, so cars, bicycles, Tuk Tuks, scooters, and pedestrians all shared the narrow streets with few stoplights which were generally ignored anyways. It took a while to figure out the best way to cross streets; we eventually settled on waiting for a Tuk Tuk crossing in the same direction as us to hide behind and run along with them.

When we got to the Phnom Penh van office we were immediately bombarded with Tuk Tuk drivers asking us if we needed a ride. It would’ve been a 30 minute walk, with backpacks, in what felt like 107 degree heat, so we said, ‘yes, please’. We got in a Remork with the cutest little old driver. He drove so slowly that there was barely a breeze and, if not for the heat, we probably could have walked faster. But he got us to our hotel safely.

We stayed at the Vacation Boutique Hotel because it had really high ratings on Agoda and Bookings.com. We walked in to a dimly lit foyer and up to the front desk. The man addressed Carl and was confused that the name on Carl’s passport did not match any in their reservation system. It was fun to call out his bias and say, actually!, I! booked the hotel! I didn’t actually speak loudly and he didn’t seemed phased either way but this did trigger a realization that everyone was always addressing Carl, not me. Since most people on the street are asking us to get in their Tuk Tuk or buy something, it didn’t bother me that I wasn’t being addressed and I let the weight of the patriarchy fall onto Carl’s sweaty shoulders.

We went up two stories to our room that only had a window looking into the hallway and smelled kinda weird, like cigarettes and sewer mixed with a tinge of incense. Instead of a bathroom door there was a heavy curtain. Still, the AC worked and the furnishings were nice. On the bed were towels shaped into swans.

We both felt a little nauseous but my nausea was manifesting as hunger so we headed out to the central market in search of food. Our hotel was nicely located so the market was only a short walk away. Even so, it was sweltering.

We ended up finding a food stall that advertised some kind of noodle dish. The guy cooked it on a big, hot, metal surface right in front of us. As we waited, a woman came by and gave us some pickled vegetables to try. They were good and she wanted us to buy some but in our fragile state we couldn’t risk consuming any quantity of greens from a street salesperson. The noodles though were reallly good and helped heal us a little.

After we got an orange Fanta and a coke and then we felt much better. We went back to our hotel and slept a few hours to avoid the hottest part of the day and try to feel better.

When we woke up in the evening it was dark. We decided to scope out the night market, also within walking distance. Unlike Thailand, the markets in Cambodia seem more focused on objects (clothes, etc) than food. Even at the night market there weren’t as many food stalls. The ones they did have were in the back, encircling bamboo mats that had been laid on the ground. Families were ordering meat kabobs from the food carts and then cooking their sticks on little barbecues shaped like pigs.

We played dumb tourist and pointed to seafood rice on the menu and picked out some fresh spring rolls. Carl also ordered a sugarcane juice. We sat, cross legged, on the mats in the middle of the ‘food court’ and they brought everything to us. There wasn’t a lick of a breeze and we used the napkins (thin and wispy like pieces from a toilet paper roll) to dab at our sweaty faces as we ate. On the walk back to the hotel we got some pork buns that ended up having hot dog and hard boiled egg in them. Different, but not bad.

Thursday, April 28

At our hotel there’s a Remork driver, Sean, who hangs out in front and sometimes inside, offering rides to whoever needs one. He caught us as we were leaving once and we agreed he could show us to some tourist sites. So we met him at 8am and drove about 45 south west of the city, to the Killing Fields.

A brief history for those that don’t know: After several years of civil war and being bombed the heck out of by the US, Cambodians at first welcomed the take over of the Khmer Rouge when they captured the capital of Phnom Penh on April 17, 1975. Communist dictator and certified nut job Pol Pot tried to put into reality the ideals of communism that he had learned while living in Paris when he joined the French Communist Party. The Khmer Rouge forced everyone out of the cities to work in communal labor camps where they starved as the food they produced was sold to China. All the former party military members and their families were killed. All the intellectuals: doctors, lawyers, teachers, even those that just wore glasses, were killed. The Khmer Rouge killed so many people (estimated around 2 million people) that they needed a center to murder and bury the bodies. This area south of the city is now called the Killing Fields. It is estimated that 20,000 bodies are buried in mass graves here. About half the mass graves have been excavated and some of the remains have been cleaned and preserved. In the front of the complex they built a glass-walled memorial stupa that houses 16 levels of skulls. Even seeing this many skulls at once, the human brain cannot fathom such loss.

We had expected to pay $5 for entrance and audio guide but ‘because of COVID’ there were no audio guides so we only paid $2. I was disappointed because I didn’t think we’d understand what we were seeing without an audio guide.

Well, as soon as we entered a man approached us and asked if we wanted him as a guide. He said he was 17 when Khmer Rouge took over and he was able to escape but his whole family was killed. He said he remembers the killing field area because of the very bad smells. He said 20,000 people were killed there. He said Pol Pot was a crazy man. He charged $8 but we agreed to this steep price. He led us a few steps while repeating ‘20,000 people, Pol Pot crazy crazy bad man, bad smells, so sad’. He led us to a sign that was written in English and pointed to it, telling us to read. We did and then walked with him to the next sign, where we read it ourselves again.

At two points during the tour he asked us to wait for him as he walked away to do something. Later he said he had some stomach problems. He was a terrible tour guide but we didn’t really care. There’s only so much you need to learn about such a place. At the end of the tour we bought a lotus flower and some incense and put them in front of the stupa, giving some quiet moments to show our respect.

We left and found our driver, Sean, and decided to go to S21 to get all the depressing sites done in one day. S21, or the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum, was converted to a museum to document the Khmer Rouge atrocities after they converted the building (former high school) to a prison and torture center in 1976. It’s crazy to think that my parents were preparing to have their 10 year high school reunion party in their high schools while on the other side of the world people were being brutally tortured in an old high school in Phnom Penh.

Again the audio guides were discontinued because of COVID so the entrance price was cheaper but we were left on our own to figure out what everything was. The first two floors of the first building just had metal cots in the middle with a large photo on the wall of a dying man on the cot. The photos were apparently taken by a Vietnamese journalist when the Vietnamese invaded and followed bad smells to discover the prison. This we learned from Wikipedia after the fact because there was not a lick of information, in English or Khmer.

But then, on the third floor we happened upon an exhibit about a man named Khieu Sakuor. He was born in Cambodia in 1945 and after a series of fortunate events and studying hard he wound up studying economics in Japan. He was struggling to get into graduate school when Khmer Rouge propaganda reached him asking him to return to help his country. He returned and was tortured and killed within a week.

By chance (and through Facebook funny enough) the museum acquired a box of photos and documents that Sakuor had left with a friend in Japan, planning to return someday. So from these pictures and letters the museum pieced together a narrative of this person’s life and revealed him to be very charismatic, smart, and most of all, wanting to do right by his country. It was so moving to read through everything and helped put a face to the victims of the atrocities we were learning about.

We walked through the rest of the museum, notably the cells that had been fashioned out of bricks and wood, and the billboard size posters with dozens and dozens of mug shots of the prisoners.

Feeling nice and depressed we went back toward our hotel. As we pulled up we ran into this creepy white guy with a pot belly that we’d seen around the hotel. He seemed like he either had a strange accent or was brain dead but he had enough communication skills to advise us to go to a nearby spot for lunch, and Sean agreed to take us quickly. The spot was just around the corner.

We ordered two Angkor beers and a Tom Yum soup based on weird guy’s suggestion. The menu was mostly in Khmer so we didn’t know what else to get. The waiter said ‘garlic shrimp?’ to which we nodded yes. The soup WAS really good, so we felt a little bad for making fun of weird white guy. The shrimp was put whole (no peeling) into batter and fried so it tasted good but I’m not used to eating shrimp exo skeleton so it wasn’t my favorite.

We repeated our routine of going back to the hotel to rest during the hottest part of the day and then emerging again for dinner. For dinner we went to David’s Noodle restaurant which I’d read about on a travel blog. We walked there from our hotel and just as we were getting near it started to sprinkle. We ducked into the restaurant and seconds after a tropical rainstorm came wailing down.

David’s is known for their handmade noodles and dumplings so we got pork dumplings and noodle soup with duck. You could definitely taste the homemade noodle! We watched the staff pull and slap noodle dough under the outdoor awning as the storm raged in front of them. Just our luck, as we got full and ready to leave, the rain cleared and we walked back to our hotel.

Friday, April 29

We didn’t have a good plan for the day as the only plans we had made had fallen through. So we went to a nearby coffee shop and got coffees and a surprisingly good banh mi like sandwich before setting out to walk around a bit. We walked to the Royal Palace but found it was still closed to tourists because of COVID.

We got a Remork toward the Russian Market (named so because Russians liked to shop there I guess). We then walked to a place called Daughters of Cambodia which provides recovery programs coupled with job training to women that were victims of sex trafficking. The organization runs a gift shop that sells items made by women in the programs and has a spa. We bought some gifts for friends and family and then I treated myself to a mani/pedi.

We went back to our hotel for our routine of avoiding the sun in the afternoon, this time with some potential food poising symptoms making us not want to do anything.

We emerged at dark, again, and made the trek to another restaurant we had read good reviews of. This time the weather was not on our side and we had to trek through the rain. The place we went to is called 54 and it was advertised as a barbecue beer hall – our favorite! We ordered a tall beer to share and the waitress brought 2 but then put one in a bucket of ice at the end of the table. We looked around and saw all the tables had a bucket or a full cooler of beer cans at the end of their tables.

There were hundreds of things on the menu including steamed cow penis with Chinese medicine and, my favorite, baked pig stomach in can. You’d think mild food poisoning would put us off such a place, but for some reason barbecued meat still appealed to us. We got bbq beef, fried okra, and a thai salad with fried noodle.

They brought each dish one at a time, as if we had ordered three separate courses. The beef was a little over cooked, and the fried okra wasn’t breaded (and it was a mountain of it) but it was good. They also served some veggies and rice and a side of ground black pepper. We had learned to mix lime juice with the pepper to make a delicious sauce. This sauce – on top of a little beef with rice wrapped in a bitter leaf – was the best part of the meal. The Thai salad was a mix of cabbage and veggies with dried noodles and I hated it. It tasted like the smell of an old sponge.

As we ate we watched a huge table of people (work party?) accept gifts and get drunk together as a live band played high-pitched Cambodian music. So although the food wasn’t great, the atmosphere was so entertaining and we had a great time.

On the way back to the hotel it was still lightly raining. I stumbled and my flip flop got caught and I busted a plugger! (it broke). So now Cambodia had taken both of our pairs of flip flops. So it goes.

Saturday, April 30

We awoke and laid out the following goals for the day: get COVID tests (with negative results), get Carl a haircut, buy new flip flops for us both, and get to the airport for our midnight flight to the Philippines.

Sean drove us to a COVID testing center and all went smoothly. We went across the street to get fancy coffees and pastries while we awaited the printed out results.

Then it was haircut time. We walked back to a barber place we had seen before and peeked in the window to see some of the staff asleep in their chairs, so we figured they needed the business! The guy was like Edward Scissorhands cutting Carl’s hair with a comb in one hand and an electric razor in the other. Just when we thought he was done the guy pulled out a straight razor. He trimmed Carl’s beard and sideburns without any soap or water. Carl said he thought the guy was going to slice his ear off. All ended well and he ended up with a nice looking do!

Before walking back to the hotel we stopped for a street meal. We had seen places with baguettes and grilled meat so we stopped and pointed at these items, trying our best to politely indicate we’d like to eat them. They gave us each a mixed meat stick and…a chicken stick? And a baguette that had been toasted on the grill and had a sweet butter on it. Kinda weird, but good.

They served a side of papaya salad that was COLD and sweet, not spicy. It was so refreshing. We put the meat and salad inside the baguette and had ourselves a little street sando. We both agreed this was one of the top meals of Cambodia. And it cost $3.25. Total.

Then we went to central market to look for flip flops. Annoyingly, there were a lot of designer brand knock offs which meant higher prices for the same cheap ish. Carl ended up haggling for some Nike’s and I luckily found a pair of Cambodian brand flops that didn’t make my feet look like the giant German ancestry feet they are (or so I tell myself).

We had accomplished so many of the day’s objectives and yet it was only 3pm! So we decided to squeeze in a trip to the national museum. The entrance fee was $10 a person and it wasn’t worth it. The building itself was beautiful, built in 1927 in Khmer style. Inside they had a collection of really old artifacts like rings, headdresses, etc. and many many many statues of Buddhist and Hindu figures. There were few written descriptions of what we were looking at but it also seemed pretty straightforward.

On our walk back we happened to walk by David’s noodles so we stopped to have one last plate of dumplings and some Angkor beers. Then we loitered in the hotel lobby for several more hours until it was time to go to the airport. Sean was kind enough to drive us and we got there so early that we couldn’t check in for the flight yet. We went to Burger King and got some chikky tendies, a whopper, and two draft sodas. The sodas were SOO good so we chugged them before the questionable ice could melt.

At the check in desk we showed all our paperwork and it was smooth sailing. As we started to go through security the check in staff person came RUNNING after us because she forgot to check whether we had proof of COVID insurance. I got ready to defend our insurance as we’d had to do twice before (health coverage IS COVID coverage guys!!) but she seemed satisfied to see our names on the policy and let us go.

On the flight they served a meal at 1:40am. The options were beef or fish. We overheard a woman ask if there were vegetarian options and the man said no. She asked what kind of fish it was. He said fried. She said “no, what is the name of the fish?” And he replied “Dory”. Carl and I looked at each other and said “not Dory!” and cracked up.

This blog entry is brought to you by Carl

Sunday, April 24

We continued our streak of getting issued boarding passes with no problem despite having “no carry-on” tickets and comically overstuffed backpacks. We were flying out of a different Bangkok airport this time, and unfortunately all the cafes in the international terminal were closed “due to COVID.” Luckily we still had quite a few snacks leftover from our recent night bus, so we had a champions breakfast of potato chips and cookies. Plus the airport provided free water after throwing away our smuggled Marriott bottles. We were still slightly bitter that we would be spending more time, money, and gas to fly to Siem Reap than the bus would have taken, but the whole process went very smoothly. Cambodia only required a vaccine card and a visa which we had completed online. It was one of the easier countries to enter in Southeast Asia, likely attributed to their impressive 97% vaccination rate.

The obligatory crying baby seated right next to Anni calmed down as soon as we arrived to our transfer in Phnom Penh. The difference in culture was palpable; everyone seemed to have a smile on their face and politely took no for an answer when we said we did not need a Tuk-Tuk. We spent our few hour layover at the only non-western chain in the airport, having some surprisingly good coffees and some very average fried rice. We would also give in to some Krispy Kreme donuts and a Dairy Queen Blizzard before leaving though.

Our flight to Siem Reap had a total of 7 people on it, which was good because our bloated backpacks were nowhere close to fitting in the tiny overhead compartments. We opted for a Remork (Cambodian Tuk Tuk which is a motorcycle attached to a cart) to our hostel, and were happy we did because our driver was adorable and we agreed to have him drive us to the temples the next 2 days.

We were staying at the Mad Monkey Hostel, a known party place, but we were still in sleep debt from the night bus and had sunrise plans the next day, so we slipped out for dinner and back incognito to not show our age. We ate dinner at the first place we saw serving food. We had 2 beers, spring rolls lacking the all-important peanut sauce, curry that just tasted like lemongrass, and a hamburger all for $10.

Monday, April 25

We met our Remork driver Yut (who we though was named Jus until we saw his name in writing) at the agreed upon time of 5am. We bought a ticket for the temple complexes which, because of some current deal, we were able to buy one day pass and use it for 2 days. Bleary eyed and already sweating from the heat (already mid 80s, felt like 100 with humidity), we arrived to Angkor Wat as the sun started to rise.

Distant chanting and music could be heard as we exited our cart and started the march towards the towers on the horizon. The cicadas were so loud, they were deafening. It felt like we had the place to ourselves, so different from the blogs we had read describing hoards of people. It was magical, though the occasional wafts of mustiness and the oppressive heat would bring us back to reality. We would end up spending 3 hours at Angkor Wat marveling at the architecture and taking too many pictures. Another American we met there described it as “the most photogenic place.”

Yut then took us to breakfast at a slightly overpriced place but it was still cheap by any other countries’ standards. We were fine with knowing our driver likely got some deal out of it. I downed an orange Fanta in 2 seconds and then we ate some beef Lok Lak (Cambodian dish) and a pretty good pork sandwich. Anni had a thick mango shake and a surprisingly good coffee.

The next temple of the day was Bayon, which had been built a century after Siem Reap when the new king favored Buddhism rather than the Vishnuism of Angkor Wat. The Khmer empire appeared to pick a new religion whenever the prior one didn’t seem to be working out for the people, and most of the temples had some mix of Hinduism and Buddhism as statues would get replaced with the current trend. Bayan was smaller than Angkor Wat but the details were more impressive, and a roaming family of monkeys added to the experience.

From Bayon, we walked to some neighboring temples and terraces, which were less impressive than the first 2, and the oppressive heat was starting to cloud our vision. We hiked all the way to the top of a temple called Baphoun because we have self control issues, and I think it was pretty but delirium had set in by then. My phone said it was 97 degrees but feels like 107 with the humidity. We found and chugged some cold water from the all too happy merchants who were somehow wearing sweaters, and staggered back to our Remork. The shade from the cart and the wind from movements revived us so we agreed to do one more temple for the day.

That was Ta Prohm, most famous for being used in the filming of Tomb Raider. Anni and I had been discussing the pros and cons of the extensive renovations and rebuilding that had been done at Angkor Wat and Bayan, so it was very cool to see this temple where minimal renovations had been done and much of the rubble and vegetation was left intact. Giant banyan trees were ripping up large parts of the temple, and we did our best Indiana Jones and Lara Croft impressions exploring the ruins.

We got back to the hostel around 2pm hoping to jump in the pool, but unfortunately the young British lads who made up most of the Mad Monkey hostel clientele were involved in extensive splashing and pool wrestling, so we opted for a cool shower and some AC time. We decided to join the hostels planned activity for the evening, a “sunset BBQ with beer,” at 4pm.

Out of the 17 participants, Anni was the only female. However this did make us the favorite of the female guide Ellie, who made sure we got first beers. We gravitated toward the only other possibly 30 year olds, an Australian named Stephen and a Frenchman named Illy. The tour started by plying us with beers and then driving us out of the city in Tuk Tuks. We then got a tour of a rice farm. Already tipsy, standing out in a rice patty with the young British lads who were not expecting this was such a treat. At one point I was hopping on 1 foot and swatting off some biting ants when my flip-flop (which was already hanging on by a thread after a Full Moon Party getting-foot-stepped-on incident) finally broke. I held it up in defeat and the Ken doll-looking Dutch lad next to me said “me too” and held up his broken flip-flop as well.

After learning about rice and lotus farming we sat down at a table to marvel at the sunset and eat dinner. We were first served frogs and snails, which were delicious and even approved by our resident Frenchman. We then got Chicken kabobs which were also good, and served with a tasty spicy tofu sauce. Full and properly drunk we returned to the hostel…and it was only 8pm. We snuck back to our room to, again, not appear old and went right to bed.

Tuesday, April 26

We got to sleep in a bit more as we had agreed to not meet Yut until 8am, but that meant it was already roasting when we loaded into the Remork. We started at Banteay Srei, an older temple far from the rest known for its intricate pink sandstone carvings. Although Anni was mildly hungover from all the cheap beers the night before, we were less tired overall and spent a lot of time in the museum section on the premises, learning about the history, building practices, and religions of the temples.

Next stop was Preah Khan, which like Ta Prohm had been left mostly in situ, and we would later agree this was the best of the lesser known temples. Crawling through some doorways I was certain a booby trap was going to go off. By the end of our time there heat fatigue was setting in though. Yut brought us to another tourist restaurant and we shared pineapple fried rice and grilled eggplant with beef which was the winner of the tourist spot meals.

Feeling ready for a nap, Yut instead pointed across the street to a floating bridge, saying the next temple was over there. We obliged, making it to an island with a small temple on another island within the island, with heat delirium again in full effect. The temple itself was underwhelming but we found a bench and sat for a few minutes in the shade.

We masochistically allowed Yut to take us to one more temple, Ta Som, which had some neat face carvings at the front gate and another cool banyan eating the back gate. Completely drained of all life, Yut mercifully took us back to our hostel and we said our fond farewells. We then stood in front of the AC until we collapsed into a nap.

For dinner we decided to go to a nicer restaurant, landing at Chanrey Tree. I got a Passion fruit margarita and Anni had a Mojito, both boozy but good and sipped via a lemongrass shoot. For food we had a fish curry, the best taste so far in Cambodia, and something called “pork delicacy,” which was basically a larb served with a variety of lightly cooked vegetables we were unable to identify. They were not cake. Overall it was a great setting and a great meal, all for $30.

We walked back along pub street and imagined what it must have looked like pre-pandemic. I grabbed some new flip-flops and a new T-shirt to replace the ones that were now more sweat than cotton, and because it’s hard not to buy a T-shirt when they are only $1. We had another beer at the hostel, and marveled that anyone could party after such exhausting temple days. Unable to find Tomb Raider, Indiana Jones, or an episode of Legends of the Hidden Temple on Netflix we settled with the recent remake of Jumanji and actually really liked it.