Sharing our Traveler's Diarya

January 28
Friday

We left Sint Maarten in the late afternoon on Thursday and had an evening layover in Miami. Because it was a international transfer we had to go through passport control and customs and I was worried we were going to miss our flight. Luckily we got to the gate just in time to grab a bite before the last restaurant closed for the night.
We arrived in Bogotá at about 2am. Thankfully we had arranged a driver, so didn’t have to deal with the chaos of getting a taxi- even though every taxi man in Colombia wanted us to ride with them. When we got to our hostel the doors were closed, no lights were on, and there was no sign of life to be heard. We ended up banging on the door for several minutes before a sleepy security guard let us in. He let us ‘check in early’ which was remarkable because it was basically a free night stay (starting at 3am). Without turning on any lights he gave us the key to our room and showed us the way, leading us up a creaky wooden staircase with a flashlight.

When we woke up in the morning, we wandered downstairs. The hostel was in a very old building that had been renovated hipster style. The walls were brick and the ceiling exposed to show the wiring, plumbing, and what looked like original timber beams. Some of the beams looked like someone had just chopped down the trunk of a tree and laid it on the roof, ignoring that the trunk was not completely straight. Hipster lights (where you can see the filament) hung in copper cages from long copper wires.

We went across the street to Café Orígenes for breakfast. We got a veggie crepe and a big bowl of fruit (the waiter said “are you sure? It’s a big bowl”) with banana, pineapple, papaya, strawberries, and something that looked like a yellow cherry tomato but was sweet (turns out it was ——). We also had some ridiculously delicious cappuccinos which were a huge improvement from our previous week of instant coffee everyday in the Caribbean.

We wandered around the city. Our hostel was in La Candeleria neighborhood, which is the oldest part of the city and the funkiest. There’s multiple universities in the area so there were a bunch of younger people around, lots of bars and cafés, bookstores, and tons of beautiful graffiti / murals. We walked to the Simon Bolivar Plaza which was filled with vendors and street performers. Then we headed up Septisimo (7th st) to a more commercial avenue but part of it was shut down to cars allowing pedestrians to walk in the street.

We went to the National Museum because we thought it would be helpful to learn more about Colombia before exploring it. The museum has historical artifacts, art, and natural history specimens. There was a lot on display here but the exhibits were awkwardly organized and some rooms had art from all over the world and multiple time periods with some loose explanation for how everything was connected. We were feeling pretty confident in our Spanish but reading so much Spanish got tiring very quickly. Carl made a good point that it was like reading a Spanish textbook for 2 hours while standing (i.e., it was a lot).

From inside the museum we could hear people shouting and cheering. The Colombia vs Peru soccer game was about to start and everyone was clambering to find a place to watch it. Leaving the museum we headed in the direction of our hostel, searching for a cafe playing the game. As we wandered the streets we realized the sky had grown very dark. My weather app predicted imminent rain. We went from bar to bar to see if they sold food while everyone – employees and customers – sat transfixed looking at the game on tv.
Finally we found a place that advertised arepas and cheap beer so we ducked in and found a table out of the way with a view of the tv. Almost immediately after we went inside, the rain started- drizzle at first and then a tropical downpour. Turns out the place we ducked into was an Italian restaurant and it was the waiters first day (or so it seemed). When we asked for Arepas he looked at us like we were nuts (while the illuminated arepa sign loomed over his head). We decided to get the #26, something with shrimp and garlic. He said ok and left. Then he came back and asked what kind of sauce we wanted on the shrimp. We both just pointed to the menu and shrugged our shoulders. He copied down what the menu said and relayed the message back to the kitchen.

With a break in the rain we left and went back to La Candelaria for a local beer tour. We met our guide at a nearby hostel, the Cranky Croc. Alejandro (said call me “Alejo”) was just mildly late because he had to go home and change after being caught in the downpour. He offered us some light beers and gave us a history of beer production in Colombia. The gist of the story is that locals were drinking Chicha- fermented corn drink- before a German entrepreneur came in and established a German style brewery, Bavaria, selling Pilsner type beers. This brewery then went on a propaganda campaign to make beer look healthy and make Chicha look like the drink for criminals and low lifes.
We left the hostel and went one street up to a place called Embajada de la coca – the most hippie style den of a shop that I’ve ever seen in my life. It felt like we went back in time to 1969. The place was full, with everyone sitting on little wooden stools around the perimeter of the shop, in a circle. Alejo found space for us and we squeezed in, make sure to not break the circle and to keep the energy in the middle of the room. The shop was selling all kinds of local, earthy things (e.g., hand crafted marijuana lotion) and people around us were chewing coca leaves, drinking coca tea, and eating coca cake. It was just about the last place I would’ve looked for a beer.
Alejo ordered us two beers from a local brewery called Tres guerreros (three warriors) that was established by three brothers. The stout was actually one of the best stouts I’ve ever had. As we sat there, Alejo said hi to the people he knew and introduced himself to anyone he didn’t. The couple next to us told us how they have their own organic clothing company and warned us not to judge coca and marijuana use but to see them as spiritual tools to cleanse the body. When they left another woman sat next to us and politely introduced herself and asked where we were from and welcomed us to the city. The owners then cleared all the tables so that a man dressed in all satin could play some sort of instrument for the group. About then Alejo said we needed to get on with our tour but we could come back later.
Walking up the hill we stopped at a Mexican style restaurant that had a beautiful ofrenda. We shared a spicy habanero beer before continuing our journey.
We wandered up one of the oldest cobblestone streets in the neighborhood, Carrera 2, named ‘the funnel’ because this street would catch the flood water and funnel it away from the shops to the main road. At the top of this road is Plaza Del Chorro Del Quevedo which is celebrated by some as being the place the city was founded and today has nonstop street performers. Without Alejo we wouldn’t have even noticed a path leading from the southwest corner of this square, down along an alley to a little courtyard with. Chicha shop. We ordered a bottle of Chicha and drank out of little wooden bowls. Originally Chicha was made by people chewing on corn for a while, spitting that out, and fermenting their spit. Alejo said that only virgins would do the chewing and spitting, but it’s not like that anymore. I made a comment that I’d prefer virgin spit to whoever is chewing on it these days but I don’t think he heard me because he nodded in agreement.

The next stop was the most craft brewery looking place of them all- Bogotá Brewing Company (BBC) which unfortunately had recently been bought out by the beer tyrant, Bavaria Brewing, mentioned in the beginning of the story. We got our first IPA and a beer with honey in it that won the competition for the night.
The final place (plan B after another place closed early) was right next door to our hostel. Alejo knew the owner (of course) and walked in like the prince of Bogotá to get us samples before ordering a full pint. We decided to get some dinner too and Alejo joined us, which he said he normally wouldn’t do with his tours but he liked us 🙂
We got – – basically big plantain chips with ground beef, avocado and other vegetables piled on top.
Then, as if Alejo had been the one on a drinking tour (he refrained from alcohol because he is on a cleanse to rid himself of toxins and prepare his body to turn 30), he told us a very heartfelt story about a past love interest. He was an great story teller and we listened intently. After, he hugged us goodbye.

January 29
Saturday

We had breakfast at the hostel (with instant coffee 😦 I was already spoiled) and set out for the day. Our first task was to find malaria prevention pills, which took us three pharmacies before we found one that knew what we were asking for and had it. I guess Colombians don’t bother with malaria pills because 1) many of the areas like Bogotá are at high elevation so they do not have mosquitos 2) people traveling to the rainforest a lot weigh the risk of malaria versus the cost and side effects of the pills.
Then we headed to the Gold Museum. We had read about this museum as one of the “must see’s” in Bogotá and I agree. For one, nearly all the signs had English translation so we conserved our museum energy. Also the objects were laid out very thoughtfully – starting with videos on how gold objects are made (hammering vs lost wax), then about how they were used by native Colombians, then about origin stories and shaman rituals. We took a break about halfway through to get cappuccinos (Cappuccino Carl!) and empañadas.

After the museum we strolled back through the historic cobblestone streets, which were just as cool in the daylight as they had been the night before. We went to a late lunch at La Puerta de la Catedral, as recommended by Alejo and ordered the bandeja paisa (also his recommendation). The plate came with multiple types of sausage, beans, rice, plantain, avocado, and a corn fritter thing. I had Maracuyá juice and Carl had Lulo juice – both are like passion fruit. We stopped by BBC for some IPAs before heading back to our hostel.

There was some confusion between our travel agency and the hostel. The agency said we would be getting a lunch to go early the next morning because we were catching an early flight and would miss breakfast. When I tried to describe this to the hostel, they did not agree with this plan. Instead they offered us coffee and cake instead. So we accepted and had a ‘free’ desert: German chocolate cake and passion fruit cake.

January 26
Wednesday

We drove up the east side of the island to the French side, to Orient Bay Beach. The West entrance to this beach from the Dutch side had been closed for two days so we ventured to see whether we could get in from the only other direction. We were able to, and parked right in the downtown which had much newer and cleaner looking buildings than many of the other beaches.
The beach itself was nice -not as good as Mullet Bay- but still soft sand and clear water. There was more dead seaweed so we opted to rent beach chairs, which came with a free drink so it was a good deal. We walked to the Eastern end of the beach first, through the nude beach to a row of abandoned, storm-ravaged bungalows. There was something awkwardly poetic about watching an old naked man lean against a crumbling building to pull a spikey plant out of his foot, while palm trees swayed above him and the crystal blue waters lapped at the surrounding debris.

Back at our beach chairs, we ordered some Coronas and got ready to do some hard relaxing but were somewhat conned into getting beach massages. At first the lady said – let me give you a sample massage. And while I tried to tell her I only had $15 in cash she had laid me down on my belly and undid my bikini and smothered me in aloe. What the heck, Carl and I decided to go all in on the beach massage experience and said we’d find an atm for more cash after. The lady had a friend who came at just the right time and convinced Carl to get a massage at the same time as me. They both had aloe plant leaves that they swore were the real deal. The leaves had been hallowed out and they had squirted a bottles worth of aloe gel into them. The massage was close to an hour of them scooping out this gel and rubbing it all over our backs. They talked with us too and were delighted that Carl “came back” after his time at medical school here. They also told us the road had been closed because of protests over land. Families had thought they were leasing to own for decades only to find out they had just been leasing, and were not happy about it.
After massages we got our “free” cocktails and were surprised how strong they were. We lounged and read for the rest of the afternoon.

We barely made it to our neighboring Sunset Beach Bar for “all you can eat sushi” which we quickly realized was all you can eat because your waiter only comes by once and hour. No matter, we ordered as much as we could in the time limit and when we got full we shoved remaining roles into sandwich baggies and put them into my purse.
We went “out”: first to the casino and then to a rooftop bar but it was a Wednesday night and everything had to close at 11 so not much was happening. We had some fancy cocktails on a rooftop bar and reminisced over the trip so far.

January 27
Thursday

Before we left the US we had ordered some at home COVID tests to take with us. Our flight departing Sint Maarten had a layover in Miami before going to Bogotá and the US required negative COVID tests, just to be in the Miami airport for 2 hours. So we used our at home tests and submitted the results, only to find out they wouldn’t accept the at home tests. We should have known. Luckily, someone had given us a COVID test flyer when we first arrived so we were able to call them. The nurse actually drove out to meet us to do the tests. We had already checked out of our AirBnB by that time so we were sitting at the picnic tables at Sunset Beach Bar next door. No matter, Mary the nurse was unphased and did the test right there at the bar. She even congratulated us when our results were negative.
We had a few hours to kill before heading to the airport so I used the bars WiFi to do my taxes. Sunset Beach Bar Wifi really came through for us!

Once we got to the airport we gobbled down our leftover sushi from the night before and chugged our leftover guava juice. Had some issues with checking in because of the weak airport WiFi (nothing could compare to Sunset) but managed to get checked in with plenty of time to try the local IPA (which tasted phenomenal compared to all the Coronas and Heinekens we’d been having!).
When our plane taxied on the runway we could see all the tourists on the beach waving to us, moments before they’d get blown into the ocean.

We had an amazing week in Sint Maarten and I do think we will be back again someday when we need another relaxing beach vacation. We were sad to leave, but happy to go on to the next adventure.
Up next: ¡Colombia!

January 25
Tuesday

Today we headed over to Loterie Farm, which is not a farm but an outdoor adventure park in the forest. It’s privately owned so they charge for everything but they offer hiking, zip-lining, and access to a spring fed pool. We opted for the cheapest option (still $10 each) and did the hike. It was nearly a straight up climb but it was densely forested and shady. We didn’t see any monkeys but did see lots of lizards and tons of butterflies. The butterflies were tiny ones but in all different colors: yellow, white, black with spots, and lilac. Carl also found a gold ladybug. Not yellow- gold. Pic Paradis is the highest peak on the island at nearly 1,400 feet. I realized I’m not in the hiking shape I once was and I need to drink fewer Presidentes. Upon reaching the summit we had an 180 degree view of the southwest side of the island and the aquamarine blue water.

After we planned to go to the French side to Orient Beach but the entire road to the east side was closed without explanation. So we looked at google maps and found a nice looking beach and then figured out how to find the public access. We ended up taking a dirt road to Friar’s Bay Beach and then doing a short hike over the bluff to Happy Bay. On the dirt road we saw a huge iguana hanging out in a cactus by the side of the road. Then during the hike we saw several more – all hanging out in cacti near the beach.
The beach at Happy Bay rivaled Mullet Bay with super soft white sand and the clearest water. I could still see my toes when I was up to my ears deep. Plus, it’s called Happy Bay so you had to be happy there. Being in the French side still meant many bathers went nude- though of course this activity seems more popular among the older males than anyone else. Still, there were few people there and we were able to get a shady spot to read in.

For early dinner we went to Grand Case to a Lolo – Lolos are beachside shacks that serve bbq grilled right there and a whole bunch of sides. We got garlic shrimp and ribs and each came with sides of coleslaw, potato salad, green salad, rice and peas, and spaghetti! Local kids were out of school and were hanging out and doing wheelies on their bikes in the street.

24 January

Monday

This morning whilst having our coffees on the balcony and listening to the ocean we heard a goat braying so loud, we had to investigate. We’ve heard other farm animal noises from the resort next door including baby chicks, a rooster, and a big ol goose. We also saw bunnies in their yard. When we popped our head over the fence we saw all of these animals and a lady that works at the resort who introduced us to all of them. While she was talking the goose grabbed onto the fence and used his whole body weight to try and pull it down. She went to pet him and he snapped at her so she just smiled at him endearingly and said “don’t be so mean, Rocky”. She also gave us some tips of what to do on the island before she went back to work.

We drove up to the French side and rented some stand up paddle boards to paddle to Pinel island. We also rented some snorkel gear and before getting to Pinel stopped Petit Clef, a mini island, to see some fishes. I saw a huge stingray burrowing into the sand and then a looong eel in the rocks next to me. Also lots of little fishes including needlefish, blue tangs, and lots of grunts.

Then we paddled over to Pinel and did some reading on the beach before taking a walk to the other side of the island to see the “secret” beach (which many other people had found).

On our way back we stopped back at our snorkel spot to see more fish- and another stingray- before hurrying back to the boat dock on mainland to return the boards in time. On the way back we saw two more stingrays – a Caribbean southern stingray AND an eagle ray (my favorite).

We headed over to Grand Case for dinner. First went to Rainbow beach club for drinks which were good but on the expensive side. Then walked along the beach for a bit until going to dinner. We decide on Beach 82, a prestigious French restaurant that Carl didn’t make it to before (but now can afford to go!). We got some frog legs, mahi mahi tartar, scallops with duck carpaccio and foie gras sauce, and lamb shank. Probably the fanciest meal we will have for a long while so we savored it and spent a long time at dinner, trying to be the quietest Americans there, which was an easy competition to win next to the Long Island mom club and the kardashian wanna bes from San Diego with their dog.

20 January
Thursday
We slept in and then drove around to dive shops to book a dive for Sunday.
Then we went over to Phillipsburg which is normally where all the cruise ships dock. There were no cruise ships and the streets were empty like a ghost town. Still, it was nice walking around and we were easily convinced to support the local economy when offered happy hour rum punch. The rum punch was strong and the bartender laughed at me when I told her so.

Feeling great, we strolled and did some shopping. Carl and I are usually terrible hagglers and things in Sint Maarten are actually pretty expensive because they import everything (for example salmon pasta is about $25-$30 anywhere you go). But we must’ve found the deals because everything we got they said “5 dollars”. I got a visor and a floatable strap for my camera and Carl got a new phone case. As we were walking to the beach, Carl tripped and busted a plugger (his flip flops broke). So we went back and bought him some new flip flops – well timed!
For lunch we stared out over the ocean while sharing some curry goat, rice and peas, salad, and a couple Caribes.

On our way back we stopped at a grocery store in Phillipsburg to offset dining out expenses. We opted to get a big ol box of Presidentes ($20) and passed over the beef tongue the size of my friends new baby ($100). We also got some stinky cheese and foie gras.
By the time we got back to our place the sun was going down so we sat on the balcony and read. Then walked next door to Sandbar for dinner. There’s not much indication of Dutch culture on the Dutch side of the island but at Sandbar we got some Bitterballen – basically fried balls of beef stew – which are a pub snack and pair nicely with a cold Presidente. After dinner we played some foosball while our waiter watched and cheered us on.

21 January
Friday
Slept in again (https://youtu.be/S3kIwRsSF_8) and went over to the French side for brunch. There were three restaurants in Marigot that Carl used to go to and they all are closed or don’t exist now. We don’t know if they have been closed since Hurricane Irma in 2017 (Hurricane Irma was the first category 5 hurricane to strike the Leeward Islands, followed by Hurricane Maria two weeks later) or because of COVID-19 and the lack of tourism. The all you can eat lobster place was basically rubble. His favorite bakery, Serafina, had moved and was still under construction. So we went to the place next door, Chez Fernand. We got a tasty salmon sandwich, a dense almond croissant, and a couple cappuccinos.
Afterward we walked up the hill to check out the old fort. The fort had great views of the whole bay and some funny history signs that basically said “this thing was already demolished by the time we put these signs up”.

Then we drove south again, to a locals beach that Carl knew of. All beaches in Sint Maarten are public, but adjacent homeowners sometimes make it difficult for people to get to the beach. To get to Baie Rouge, you have to drive through a gated area. The gate is open, but there are signs all around it in French with red lettering that likely dissuade many non-local, non-french speaking tourists from entering. We braved it, and discovered a parking lot with a handful of cars, and stairs down to the beach.
The beach had more rocks, but was still Caribbean paradise with white sand and clear water and there was nearly no one else there. After a few hours of sun worshipping and vigorously apply sunscreen to our ghostly pale bodies, we headed back to the Airbnb.

That night we went on a dinner sunset sail around the south side of the island. We got a taxi to Simpson Bay and our driver was so nice and asked us to call him “X” as he took his hands off the wheel and made an X by crossing his arms. On board, the boat crew kept us well supplied with rum punches and served little appetizers as we sailed out from the coast. We turned and followed the southern part of the island before putting down anchor and having a buffet of mahi mahi, bbq chicken and of course rice and peas and salad. Carl and I made friends with a Canadian couple while we got our moneys worth in unlimited food and drinks. Basically we got drunk, eh.

When we returned to land, Carl joyfully threw up his arms in an X sign and our guy, X, magically appeared with a taxi to carry us away. We decided to check out the Friday night nightlife. First stop was the casino in search of live music. There wasn’t music but there was a comedian, Matt Baker. We had some free beers while watching him roast the cruise ship crowd and then stalked the streets looking for music. There was music at a honky tonk kind of bar but we decided that was not our scene. Travel lesson: sometimes live music isn’t worth the cost of the drink to be there. We pivoted, and decided to get a drink at Driftwood before trying a club. Our bartender was quite drunk and made Carl’s drink twice without realizing it so we got a nice 2 for 1 special!
We heard the clubs closed at 11pm because of covid so after 10 we went looking for music again and finally found an outdoor rooftop with a DJ. We danced for a bit and then at 10:56pm the music abruptly turned off. No one made any announcements, but we got the hint and left.

22 January
Saturday
Slept in. Had to message our Airbnb host to get a lighter for the stove but then we were able to make breakfast. We walked over to Mullet Bay which is the nicest beach I have ever been to. We hung out on the beach for most of the afternoon. For dinner we drove over to Pineapple Pete’s for some seafood. We got escargot and the crab stuffed shrimp. As we were wrapping up our meal we were told that another couple near us had offered to buy us drinks to congratulate us on getting married. This was news to us, but we didn’t want to disappoint them so we graciously accepted and said cheers to them.

23 January
Sunday
Finally went diving! We went out with a group called Aquamania that left from Simpson Bay Resort. Our guides were very nice – Jenny and Ryan- and the boat driver was so nice, he even helped me untangle my hair from my goggles.
The first dive was a wreck dive – Caribe Barge- and there were a TON of fish. We also saw the resident Timmy the turtle and a massive barracuda. Ryan guided us through the boat cabin which was pretty spooky! On the second dive we saw another turtle, that was even bigger. It was sitting in the grass munching away like a little sea cow. We also saw a Caribbean Reef Shark, which swam uncomfortably close to me. I was trying to play cool and back away from it and realized Carl had swam up next to me to get between me and the shark. The shark swam right under us and then hurried away. Definitely the closest I’ve ever been to a shark!
After the dive we went to Maho Beach and got some bbq chicken and laid on the beach until sunset.

Wednesday, January 19

We left LAX at 11pm, had a stopover in Atlanta from 6-9am and finally landed in Sint Marteen at about 3pm on Wednesday. We basically missed a night of sleep so we were pretty delirious. But Carl remembers a lot from when he went to medical school here so he was able to communicate with humans enough to get the rental car and transfer his nearly non responsive gf (me) to the Airbnb. The covid entry process went surprisingly smooth, especially given island style efficiencies. My sincere compliments to the Sint Maarten government on their organization skills.

Upon arriving to the Airbnb we found approximately 1 million mosquitoes buzzing around, and waiting for us on the ceiling and walls. We also found one of those electric tennis rackets so we spent about 40 minutes having a murder session and making a competition for mosquito murders (points for efficiency and style).

Then we walked from our Airbnb just over to Maho Beach. We got some Presidentes and some delish bbq chicken (with side of rice and peas and Johnny cakes) from Sunset Bar which overlooks the beach. This beach is RIGHT next to the airport and there are many a dumb tourist that stand on a spot on the beach where the jet planes exhaust blows them into the ocean. While we were watching the planes were not large enough to really throw people back into the water but we did see a guy almost loose his shoes.

Then we walked over to Mullet Bay Beach which Carl cited as the second most beautiful beach in the world (first being in Anguilla), and is the most beautiful beach on Sint Maarten. The sun was setting so we didn’t get to see how clear the water is but the sand was sooo soft. And there is a rib shack there during the day. So, we will be back…

Monday, January 3

You can learn a lot about a place by having a drink with the town coroner. Carl and I were lucky enough to have this experience in Elko, Nevada.

Leaving my sisters house in Driggs, Idaho, we took advantage of a break in the weather to get on the road on Monday. It had been snowing almost nonstop since we had arrived on December 23. Elko seemed like a good midway point between Idaho and the Bay Area. Using Hotwire we randomly chose the Ramada, advertised as a 2.5 star casino, with a pool, and free breakfast. The pool was outside and frozen over but the slot selection was reasonable (I lost $25) and the free breakfast was actually sizable and tasty greasy.

As we drove into town we saw several signs for Basque-style restaurants. Elko seemed to be the furthest thing from Basque country, but we decided to embrace the trend and walked over to the nearest Basque-style place, the historic Star Hotel, built in 1910. https://www.elkostarhotel.com/history/

A sizable Basque population moved to the west in the mid 1900s to be ranchers and sheep herders (cowboys!). The Star Hotel boasted a history of hosting and feeding Basque families for all kinds of occasions from wedding parties to pandemics. Picon Punch is a highball cocktail created by the Basque immigrants in the US that includes Amaro, grenadine, and a brandy float. The Star Hotel boasted their own Picon club with Picon glasses lining the shelves and members names printed in gold tape below each one.

When we first walked in, it was like a scene from an old western. Six men seated at the bar with cowboy hats and shoes slowly turned toward us as we swung open the heavy, wooden door. They looked us up and down, before turning back to their Picons and Bud Lights. We were too early for dinner so we got a drink at the bar while we waited. True to its history, the bar still had a trough below it so that lazy cowboys wouldn’t even have to get up to use the loo. The trough didn’t seem to still be in use, but we also did not test it to find out.

While we sat there, the cocktail and dinner crowd filed in. Of note was Bill, the town’s coroner. That day was his 73rd birthday. He said he normally doesn’t drink much but every year on his birthday he has one Picon at the Star Hotel. When asked where we are from we respond that we are moving from DC to California and watch his reaction as he realizes he is sitting next to the biggest liberals sleeping in Elko that night. Despite being on different teams, we had a nice, long conversation and he filled us in on everything Elko (including confirming the town name did come from Elk + “o”). He told us all about Elko history and museums that we said we would see the next time we are in town. We pushed back on his assertion that removing [confederate] statues meant the erasure of history (“losers don’t get statues”) but agreed it was a shame vaccinations had become so political. Finally Carl and I decided to get some dinner, and Bill gave us his business card as a goodbye token.

The dinner was advertised as Basque family style. We quickly realized that this meant a whole lot of very American food. First, they brought vegetable soup and French bread, followed by a salad. The second course was green beans, garbanzo beans, kidney beans, spaghetti, and French fries. We ordered baked lamb and trout but by the time the entrees came we were already stuffed. They let us package up most of it to go and we saw most of the other tables were doing the same.

We walked back to the hotel, had fun losing some money at the slots, and fell asleep to some good ol’ HGTV.

Sunday, December 19

We woke up to freezing temperatures. Our water bottles left in the car were frozen but thankfully the beers didn’t explode. I had the best cinnamon role of my life at the Holiday Inn breakfast. Driving into New Mexico we entered into the wide, dry landscape with yellow grass and spiny bushes that Carl and I are more familiar with. We even saw a couple tumbleweeds! I decided it was time to use our Marriott gift card that we got for signing up for their credit card (this isn’t a paid promotion but I would love to be sponsored by Marriott if the opportunity was presented!)

We checked into the beautiful and historic La Posada and were instantly wooed by the free candy. The hotel is organized like a little adobe village where sets of rooms are scattered throughout the property connected by brick walkways. The interior was Spanish-style with white walls, exposed dark wooden beams, and so so much art. We walked from the hotel to the square, passing souvenir stores filled with silver, textiles, beads, stone and wood carvings, and other wonderfully kitschy objects. On the north side of the square under an awning there was a line of Native Americans selling their handmade jewelry, displayed on blankets. The temperature was about 35 degrees so everyone was dressed bulkily with many blankets wrapped around them.

We walked south to Santa Fe Brewing’s Brakeroom tap house, a small, historic building with a dark wood bar and dim lighting. The building is actually an old cabin where railroad workers used to sleep. We had the 7k and Happy Camper IPAs. Then we walked west to a different commercial area and landed at Second Street Brewery. We had the Sloppy Sloth hazy IPA and the 2920 IPA which was a gluten-removed beer (although it turns out that I missed that gluten). It was at this point we realized we were at a high elevation. We felt especially winded and drunk after two beers and were grateful we booked a hotel within walking distance. We then skipped our way back up to the restaurant Paloma. We had delicious mezcal cocktails (that we nursed), chicken sopapillas on blue corn tortillas, and braised short rib in a mole sauce with sweet potato purée and blackened onion and sweet potato garnishes. Drunk as we felt, we savored the buttery meat and then shuffled back to the hotel cursing at the cold. We explored the hotel property and found…the hot tub! After the hot tub we had to chug a bunch of water and went to sleep at like 9 while watching Law and Order SVU.

Monday, December 20

Despite being a beautiful, luxurious hotel they did not offer a free breakfast like the Holiday Inn’s that we have come to love. So we scuttled over to Tia Sofia’s which boasts famous chile stews. We had the Christmas breakfast burrito (both green and red chile) and the pozole with pork (which was…fine). Then hopped in the car and drove north to Colorado!

We met up with more of my coworkers – Erin and Jordan – at Joy Hill in Denver for happy hour and an early dinner. We shared a healthy salad, pizza that had purple potatoes and chorizo, and the house IPA. Then we headed up the hill to Estes Park. My coworker, Devin, kindly let us stay at her place. Devin’s St Bernard, Bear, is the biggest, cutest dog of all my life. We sampled some of the beers we had gathered from across the country, chatted, and cuddled bear.

Tuesday, December 21

The wind was crazy, violent all night but we decided to see what the tree-covered hiking trails felt like. Devin recommended Bear Lake and the short hike from there to Bierstadt Lake. The wind was still fierce at Bear Lake but lessened on the trail. We hiked about 5 miles to Bierstadt and around and then headed back to town. We stopped at Rock Cut Brewery and had the Galactic Portal, a hazy, and the Interference, an American IPA. We also got some dank tacos from the taco truck parked outside.

On the way down the mountain our car was squealing especially bad (we got a new belt before the trip) and the check engine light came on so we took it to the local shop. They were able to look at it immediately and tightened the belt, asking only for a tip for the guy who worked on it so quickly. Then Carl and I got COVID tested which was across the street and took about 5 minutes. So efficient!

That evening we went up to the Stanley hotel (the inspiration for the Shining) for dinner and a spooky tour. We had spinach artichoke dip and deviled eggs to start and then shared some beef and buffalo short ribs and a meatloaf with all kinds of meat including elk. The cocktails were real good and were Shining themed (Red Rum). The spooky tour took us to the men’s workers quarters, the billiards room, and even the tunnels under the hotel. Stephen King and the Stanley Hotel have a symbiotic history – the hotel inspired King but he also apparently saved the hotel by inspiring its historic preservation status. The tour guide spoke of several ghosts and spirits and showed us some photos of sitings but we did not see any ghosts or spirits of our own. There was a kid- about 7 years old- who kept asking good, thought-provoking questions throughout the tour. Then at one point the guide mentioned there were no children allowed on the tour. We realized the kid did not appear to be there with any parents and then…we didn’t even see him anymore.

Wednesday, December 15

The five-hour drive from Tarboro to Asheville was mostly flat but we started to climb into the Great Smoky Mountains as we approached the outskirts of town. Inez, Mary Ann’s daughter that owns and operates the trendiest restaurant in Tarboro, gave us several recommendations for where to eat and drink in Asheville. She also recommended the Murdaugh Murders podcast about the crazy, rich, and powerful South Carolinian family and the many murders they’ve been involved in, which filled most of our driving for the next several days.

We were able to walk from our hotel, a nice Holiday Inn Express on the east side of town, through the tunnel to the main drag. It didn’t seem like a popular way to walk and one car gave us a friendly honk. Wouldn’t do it in the dark.

We started at Bhramari Brewing Company. We had the Hecka Gnar, a West Coast IPA, and Neon Ghosts, a hazier IPA. Both were tasty. We also split a salad and tasty lil corn dog bites. We sat outside and people watched as the sun set. Asheville definitely has the college, hippie-kid vibe to it, and we loved it.

Next we walked up the street to Dsslvr – our first but not last occult-themed brewery. We had Are Teeth Bones, a double dry-hopped hazy, and The Hustle is Dead, a West Coast IPA. We really liked the style of the brewery – with tables shoved between forklifts and palates of grain. They had a grilled cheese pop-up restaurant outside but we decided to save ourselves for some BBQ later. It seemed like everyone there had a dog, and many (dogs) were wearing adorable Christmas sweaters.

Walking back down the street we passed several outdoor clothing stores, cutesie home decor places, record shops, and used book stores that had already closed, which was probably for the best because we have too many books as it is and an overly stuffed car.

Then we made it to Burial, our second occult-themed brewery. We had two thick, hazy IPAs: The Second Congregation of the Extraterrestrial Occult and Morphic Resonance of Human Frequencies. We also split a dank BBQ pork sandwich and admired their t-shirt and can art before getting an Uber back to the hotel. The Uber driver’s picture looked like a serial killer but then he showed up playing Tibetan chime music with pink and blue flashing lights and puff-ball decorations handing from each window. In a stoner-accent he told us Asheville was the best place in the world and he would know because he has lived “everywhere”. We told him we are going back to the Bay Area, CA and he said he had lived there and that there was too much traffic and the people weren’t as nice. He admitted the arts scene in the Bay was alright though. We ended the evening with a soak in the hotel’s very hot hot tub!

Thursday, December 16

For breakfast we drove by Hole – a craft donut shop recommended by Inez – it looked great but was closed due to equipment issues. So we trekked on and agreed to stop for brunch in Knoxville instead. The drive from Asheville to Knoxville was very pretty – winding up and down through mountain roads. We decided to switch from podcast to audiobook and listened to Under the Banner of Heaven which gave a very spooky vibe as we passed by the most rural looking trailers and back-country shops on our way down the mountains.

In Knoxville we brunched at OliBea. We had the Tennessee Benedict with local sourced ham and the Chicken Biscuit which was fried chicken, biscuit and gravy. The sauce was tangy and sweet – real good! We circled around the town and then headed to Nashville. Leaving Knoxville was still a beautiful drive down the mountains. As we approached Nashville it started to rain HARD and I spent most of the drive covering my eyes (Carl was driving).

In Nashville we stopped by the CDM Smith office to say hi to my co-workers. From the office you could see the Parthenon and the surrounding park. My co-workers were having their holiday party and with flushed faces they asked if we wanted any moonshine. My coworker, Dave, kindly let us stay with him so we borrowed his key and went back to his place to drop our stuff. On the way we drive by lower broadway, the honky tonk party street to see all the lights and silly cowboy people. Then we headed to the closest brewery, Tennfold, and had Business Hippie, a West Coast IPA, and Groovy Shade, a hazy. It was happy hour so the beers were only $3 !! We also split a tasty celery Caesar salad with blackened shrimp that exceeded our expectations.

Then we met up with my coworkers, Dave and Christina, and went to Edley’s BBQ. Carl and I split the brisket platter. The grits casserole was ridiculously good. Then we went to Bearded Iris, a nearby brewery that also served ramen. We had the Creative Banker IPA and the Dance Party Gose.

Friday, December 17

Dave recommended Five Daughters for cronuts. We got one with maple and bacon (and filled with some sort of maple cream that tasted like peace on earth) and the raspberry filled with raspberry – Carl’s favorite. Feeling pre-diabetic we hit the road again.

We headed to Memphis for a BBQ lunch. We got there around noon and it seemed like no one was ready to party yet. We walked down the famous Beale Street but not much was happening and few people were out. Walking away from the main drag was honestly pretty depressing. Most buildings looked abandoned and some were falling over. We happened to walk by a brewery – WiseAcre – so we stopped in an bought some IPAs (duh) for later. Then up to Central BBQ for lunch. We split the 3 meat platter with ribs, pulled pork, and smoked turkey – recommended by the cashier. The sauces were reallll good but the meat seemed a little overdone. Carl tried sweet tea for the first time and instantly got diabetes.

Walking back to the car we passed the Civil Rights Museum which took over the Lorraine hotel where Martin Luther King Jr was shot in 1968. The memorial was really well done, with video stands that described both the day he was shot, the background behind the strike, and other momentous events in the Civil Rights Movement. I wish we could have spent more time at the museum. We had originally planned to stay in Memphis for the night but we realized there was good day light and we could make it to Little Rock, Arkansas by dinner time so we pushed on. Leaving the city we drove right by the great Bass Pro Shop pyramid, a monstrosity of a building. We will have to save that shopping trip for our next visit.

As we arrived into Little Rock we realized we left our swimsuits hanging in the shower in the Asheville hotel. So we checked out the mall near our motel to see if anything was on sale. If you want a good laugh, go to a mall in Little Rock, Arkansas in December and ask where the swimsuits are. People looked at us bewildered as if we were asking where they kept the gremlin cages. In a major department store a man named PJ responded to this question in innuendos ( I think he was telling us to go to H&M next door). Then he gave us his business card which read “PJ” for his first name, this was not an abbreviation. He wrote his personal number on the back and told us to call him in case we ever needed his fashion consulting advice in the future. By that point we were looking at him as if HE was crazy (because come on we were dressed in our frumpiest finest after being in the car alll day). Then we went next door and got on sale swimsuits at H&M.

We went to one of the Stones Throw Brewery locations that advertised live music and food trucks. We got two IPAs: Ancestral and Dirty 7. The band was playing folk music. They especially liked their Christmas murder ballads. The place was busy and every table had at least one dog. We read that the food to eat in Little Rock is burgers and cheese dip so we headed to a restaurant to try these local delicacies. We went to Big Orange which was busy (Friday night) but we were able to sit at the bar. The cheese dip was gooood – basically melted cheese with peppers in it (I said queso, Carl said American fondue). We also opted for the homemade potato chips which were fresh and chewy. Then we split the Umami burger which had a patty that was half beef and half veggies (mushrooms, onions, and garlic).

Saturday, December 18

We woke up to heavy rain forecast so we decided to move West (opposite of the storm) ASAP. The continental breakfast at the Days Inn was sad so we opted to stop at one of the many Cracker Barrels down the road. We ended up in Alma, Arkansas and the place was full. We finally got a table and enjoyed some country nostalgia. We then continued our drive West into Oklahoma. We were actually surprised how wooded most of the eastern part of Oklahoma was. We made it to Oklahoma City for lunch and decided to dine at Clark Crew BBQ based on google ratings and history of awards. We got the 3 meet platter – ribs, brisket, and Oklahoma Prime Rib (smoked bologna). The meat and sauces were real good. But bologna is still bologna.

With a belly full of ‘cue, we drove westward. The western part of Oklahoma seemed more flat and with less trees. No bison. Carl heroically drove us in the dark into the Texas Panhandle (which I think is a misnomer and should be the Texas Top-hat). Once we crossed the Texas border, all the hundreds of wind turbines had flashing red lights that provided a christmasey glow to the highway. Also I must note that all the roads we drove on in Texas were smooth as butter (which could not be said for most other places we drove through). Finally, we made it to the Holiday Inn Express in Amarillo, Texas. This place had some nice Texas-y decorations and red and white brick designs. The hot tub was glorious – the biggest I have ever seen and it had a mosaic mermaid on the bottom.